stopping SI alone *SI* (sm. lang)

[VowsOfSadness]

Be careful of possible trigs please





I don't know why but I haven't been cutting, it not that all my problems have gone away or that I've decieded to quit but maybe my body has just had enough and pured itself of this demon (yea, right, I've only had it five yrs), its not that the pain has gone away, sometimes its been worse then ever, and I still think about SI, but heres how it is.

Yesterday I got really upset and I was so mad I grabbed my purse (I had my razor in there) but I forgot that I had switched purses so I threw the empty purse on the floor, my next thought was to run away to make my parents mad, but before I ran out I snarled at the top of my lungs "I'm going for a walk dammit" and on my way---in a jean jacket in 7*F I thought, maybe I'll jump in the flowing crick but my feet just kept walking, I thought, I'll pick something up and SI, but my feet just kept walking and my hands stayed in my coat. I walked to grandma's and instead of not telling my parents so they'd worry I just called them and said I was staying here.

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I SHOULD BE PROUD OF MYSELF, BUT IM NOT I'M STILL THE SAME PERSON JUST MY BODY IS...I DON"T KNOW....TAKING CARE OF ME.

[marylou]

Wow, that's bizarre! But cool too. I wish my body would take care of itself. My head keeps trying to look after me, but my body is too strong.

Well done, accept this congratulations! You managed one more day, one more urge that you worked through (even if it was unintended). That's really great, I'm proud of you.

[limestone]

..
I SHOULD BE PROUD OF MYSELF, BUT IM NOT I'M STILL THE SAME PERSON JUST MY BODY IS...I DON"T KNOW....TAKING CARE OF ME.

maybe you're starting to take care of yourself and that thought or concept is scary because moving into a different type of mind set and behaviour and actually letting yourself feel emotions is very different to what you've allowed yourself to do, up until now.

do you view si as something that happens to you or that you do to yourself?