letter to a friend...please reply

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Boris
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letter to a friend...please reply

Post by Boris » Mon Dec 27, 2004 8:07 pm

Nobody ever said this would be easy and nobody ever asked it to happen. Lots of people might say they understand, but they only mean it halfway. You’re the only one who can know for sure exactly how you feel, and sometimes you might not even know for sure yourself, and that’s ok. You might feel totally alone, but there are lots of people out there for you. Individually, we are one drop, but together we are an ocean (Satoro). What one person says or does might be small, but collectively you’d be amazed at what a large safety net a group of friends can be.
Recovery doesn’t come easily. You have to want it; really, really want tit. And you have to want it for yourself, not for other people. If you believe in yourself, you’ll find the strength. It comes from within yourself. And this will be a long, long journey, and some parts of it will hurt a lot. It starts to get easier as you go along. I don’t know if that’s just an illusion from building up tolerance to pain, but after a while it doesn’t feel quite so strenuous.
Some parts might scare you. It is hard to tell other people exactly what you are feeling, and why; especially hard if you don’t know them very well yet. Try to remember that they aren’t there to judge you but to help you. They won’t try to hurt you, but sometimes you’ll feel hurt by them and it’s all a part of getting better. It’s also scary to give up what you use to cope, and find something better and less destructive. I don’t know what it is that you’re coping with or escaping from, but this just isn’t the way to do it. It’s too easy to lose control and just keep on attacking yourself until you forget any other way of living. The worst patterns are the easiest to slip into and the hardest to climb out of.
This is going to be quite a journey; very long, probably rough at times. But it’s all for the best. As much as other people, including myself, may hurt you or scare you, it’s because we want you to get better. I hate seeing you hurt yourself. You’re a wonderful friend, and such a special person. You don’t deserve to be treated the way that you’re treating yourself. I want to see you recover and be happy again. I hope that you’ll respect and love yourself as much as I respect and love you.
Recovery is your own choice. Nobody can force you to recover. Other people can help you, but it’s ultimately up to you. Please try. Never give up on yourself, because this is something you can beat. It’s hard, but you have lots of people standing with you and silently cheering you on. You can do it!
Please, stay safe,
Me

~~~
Ok...I'm planning to send that to a friend of mine who's just now trying to start to recover after what's been an extremely stressful and painful month. Just wondering if any of you have any advice about it...things in it that i could change because they sound odd or confusing, or if it sounds too preachy. Thanks.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss

...long enough without slips that I've lost track. We can all get there, one way or another!

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Mon Dec 27, 2004 8:17 pm

i think its all said very nicely...i personally wouldtn change anything

xxxtake carexxx
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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Boris
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Post by Boris » Fri Dec 31, 2004 9:46 pm

cool, thanx.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss

...long enough without slips that I've lost track. We can all get there, one way or another!

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badgirl22
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good letter

Post by badgirl22 » Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:08 pm

I like your letter the way it is. It is heart felt and I think it is great the way you have great words to express how you feel about your friend. Anyway, I don't think you need to change anything.
good letter.
-Badgirl22

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mallie
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Post by mallie » Wed Jan 05, 2005 1:37 pm

Boris,

I don't know if you've already sent your letter or not, but it looks wonderful. You've let her know that she has to choose to heal, that you care, and that people will help her if she asks. It doesn't come across preachy or confusing.

Good luck :clover:

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Boris
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Post by Boris » Fri Jan 07, 2005 11:51 pm

i sent it to her...folded it up really nicely (she taught me this amazingly cool way for folding paper) and stuck it on her desk during math class. she hasn't said anything about it yet (i gave it to her a while ago) but that doesn't necessarily mean anything at all.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss

...long enough without slips that I've lost track. We can all get there, one way or another!

My Blog

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badgirl22
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way to go

Post by badgirl22 » Sun Jan 09, 2005 1:03 pm

good for you for actually giving it to her. Now she just needs to answer you or talk to u about it. It is hard to wait, I know..but you are brave just the act of giving it to her. way to go.!!
-Badgirl22

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