help...(sex/SI triggs)

[Guest]

i'm so confused. i'm only 15 but 2marrow i'm thinking about having sex with this guy that likes me. i know i probably sound like a whore...sorry. it's just i wish someone could just hold me, not so much in a sexual manner, just in a loving manner. i just want to be held. i know this (sex) is not the way to fullfill that need/want but i don't know how else to get it. i feel like if someone could just look at all my scars and still love me/care about me...they'd know the real me. they'd know all my secrets...all my confessions just simply my seeing my scars. maybe i'm just crazy...sorry for waisting your guys time...hope you all kee safe....

[herebedragons]

Honey you don't sound at all like a whore. Wanting to be held is a natural thing, wanting sex is a natural thing (if we didn't have that humans would have died out ages ago.) But it doesn't sound like sex would be the right thing for you right now- from what you said what you really want is to just be held, there is nothing wrong with just wanting to be held. Sex is an awfully big thing and you really need to be ready for it.

i know i probably sound like a whore

That worries me, because while it's not true, that seems to be how you feel about TALKING about maybe having sex, how will you feel about actually having sex?

If want you want is affection, go after affection, be clear in your mind and to others (this guy- if you can trust him, another friend guy or not that you can trust, your mom if you have a good relationship with her a friend's mom, an aunt or godmother or someone you can trust to give you some affection. We all need hugs sometimes. Nothing in the world wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with asking someone for that and making it clear that's all you want. If you don't think that this guy, or whoever, is willing to give you affection without getting sex in return then find someone who will. You don't owe anyone sex in return for love or affection. Take care of yourself.

[dreams]

I agree with herebedragons babe, you don't sound ready for sex. I had sex too early. I thougth it was a physical thing and that in response i would get the love i so despirately wanted. It doesn't work like that. I got hurt real bad (and pregnant to boot) but it's 6 years later now and i know that if a guy really likes me he'll wait for sex until i'm ready and that's after i get the love and affection i'm looking for.

I hope you make the decision that's right for you no matter what that is.

dreams

[Guest]

thanku for replying...there is nothing i wan't more than to have my mother affection...but unfortunatly she died 3 years ago. i feel so guilty when i ask my bestfriend for a hug...i don't why but when i do i just feel like the scum of the earth. it's so hard trying to detremind if i'm ready to have sex...i was raped when i was 7...so it's like i want the very thing that i'm terrorified by...i don't know what to do...thank you all again for replying....hope you have a great day...

[herebedragons]

I'm very sorry about your mom, my mom died when I was six so I know what kind of a void that leaves in your life. As far as feeling bad for asking for a hug well that's hard to get past but the consiquences of asking for a hug are a lot less than the consiquences of having sex before you are ready. And you shouldn't feel guilty because, again, everyone needs a hug sometimes.

[{{ silent scream }}]

hey.

i found having sex when i was too young just confused everything so much.

i jsut found it opned a whole new can of worms and gave me so many more things to think about......

i was younger than 15 tho. i just want to say, dont be forced into n e thing ever and promise yourself not to lower your standards. sorry i feel quite strongly about this!

kt
xxxxx