mental self harm

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Lipgloss Boost
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mental self harm

Post by Lipgloss Boost » Mon Jan 03, 2005 7:01 pm

Does anyone take part in mentally harming themselves? It seems to be an uncommon subject.

For example, I'll go to websites where guys post pictures of beautiful women, and make remarks about them. Like how some are perfect, while others may not measure up when it comes to being less than curvaceous. This makes me feel incredibly inferior, but I am still drawn to such sites.

Just the other day I read a topic saying how hot many 14-16 year old girls are. I felt terrible, but still read the whole thing.

Seeing threads about couples and their pictures gets me down too.

I'm running out of material that bruises my ego. But at the same time I don't want direct insults. Any suggestions of what I can look at?

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Angl06
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Post by Angl06 » Mon Jan 03, 2005 7:23 pm

I do the exact same thing too.

I'm never good enough... I'm always terrible. I can never be the "perfection" that I see in other ppl

((((HUGS)))) *if ok*

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marylou
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Post by marylou » Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:07 pm

I can relate to what you mean. Except I grade myself against the other girls in my life. It's so annoying and I wish I didn't do it but I can't stop myself.
Somedays I get all ready to go out and I think (for like a second!): Yeah, I look good today. I'm in shape and I'm pretty, go me!
And then I go out my room and I see my flatmate, or I go into town and run into a friend, and I just feel so crap and inadequate next to them. And in my head I list all the ways that they are better than me and how I'll never measure up.

Not got any advice, just wanted to share how I feel.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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gui hong
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Post by gui hong » Mon Jan 03, 2005 11:28 pm

I can totally relate, though I'm working on not comparing myself to others. It's very hard, but eventually I hope we can all get to a place where our bodies and our looks are uniquely beautiful to ourselves and we are able to approach ourselves with love instead of "why can't you be like ______?" I grew up with that constantly in my face, and I understand why we do it to ourselves almost automatically.

That said, please keep this thread focused on sharing feelings and tips for loving yourself more. Please do not post links to any material that is triggering or harmful. That is not the purpose of this board.

And, LG, welcome to BUS :)

gui
"My grandfather always told me there were two kinds of people. Those who did the work, and those who took the credit. He told me to be in the first group; there was less competition."
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mallie
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Post by mallie » Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:20 pm

Do you know why you look at things like that? as in what purpose does it serve for you.

Why do you need to feel inferior ?

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Post by Lady Oracle » Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:52 pm

i have that all the time. all i have to do is turn on the tv or open a magazine. sometimes everything i see reminds me of the fact that i am not perfect. i makes me feel bad, but it also motivates me to work harder to make myself perfect. i think everyone needs some sort of hero, but it can hurt to know youll never be like that.
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mallie
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Post by mallie » Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:18 pm

Do you need to be perfect ? People in TV or in magazines aren't perfect, they have their flaws just like the rest of us.

What are the good points about yourself ? Are there ways to improve how you feel about yourself rather than by trying to be perfect ?

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esaeler
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Post by esaeler » Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:27 pm

Wow, I do the same thing.

I don't have any recommendations, though, sorry.
i live a lie, one i keep inside
forgive me for what i am about to do
i fall again with every stroke
it takes my breath as i begin to choke..

-July 12, 2006 - March 28, 2007-
SI FREE for 8 months, 16 days.
Everyone slips.

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marylou
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Post by marylou » Fri Jan 07, 2005 2:26 pm

I don't know why I need to feel bad about myself! I don't know why I do it. It's so frustrating because for a little while I do think that I'm fine, and then I go and crash again and think I'm not. I don't know how to break the cycle.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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mallie
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Post by mallie » Fri Jan 07, 2005 3:41 pm

Marylou, It could be useful to think about what thoughts go through your head when it happens. Just sort of slow down a process that is pretty automatic. Might help you work out where you can stop it.

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Bathelina
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Post by Bathelina » Fri Jan 07, 2005 5:18 pm

I relate to how you feel, I always feel a little sad seeing couples and stuff, because I've never really had a boyfriend or anything, and I always feel like everyone else is better than me... So I guess I know how you feel :1hug:

Hope you're alright :)
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