I'm new - hurting loved ones

moreoutoflife · Post by **moreoutoflife** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 6:18 am

My biggest problem seems to be in hurting my partner. It hurts a lot more seeing him helpless watching me hurt myself. I know he wants to help too, but doesn't seem to do what I want him to do...

Anyone got any suggestions?

HiddenByLies · Post by **HiddenByLies** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 7:30 am

sorry no suggestions/ advice, but i wanted to say welcome. i hope you find the support here you need. good luck babe!

~*hiddenblies*~

moreoutoflife · Post by **moreoutoflife** » Sat Dec 04, 2004 10:05 am

thanks a lot - I already feel better

aroobixcube · Post by **aroobixcube** » Mon Dec 06, 2004 3:40 pm

you need to ask yourself why you do it infront of him, my BF takes everything away when i get depressed/anxious, like my meds, and forces me to give up what ever i feel hurting myself with, would you feel better if he forced you to stop, as youd see how much he cares?

telling him how youd like to be supported, or does he just not want to support you?

anyways, welcome and take care.

amy. x

moreoutoflife · Post by **moreoutoflife** » Tue Dec 07, 2004 2:28 am

Hi Amy,

It's just one of those things, I don't do it intentionally, we are always together, so we go through everything together. He certainly tries to do everything he can, it's me who pushes him away every time and I always seem to want him to behave differently to what he's doing at a time.

I am not as violent as I used to be anyway (thanks to him), I just wish I had more control over my outbursts (don't we all). I read all the tips on what to do before you feel the urge, and will try them on a regular basis.

Thanks for your support.

Take care,

Shayla

aroobixcube · Post by **aroobixcube** » Tue Dec 07, 2004 3:28 pm

i tottally understand what your saying, as with my BF were always together and so he gets it all, i used to physically abuse him and verbally coz i had no control.

i hardly attack him now as i am gaining trust in him, but sometimes i still go off on one.

i see what you mean, you just want an instant relief and when you attempt to SI, you dont like that he tries to stop you, but if he didnt bother to stop you wd u feel u wanted him to stop you, one thing iv expereinced is that, when im feeling like SI, and my BF forces me to stop i scream and yell, but really, in my other mind i know hat i want him to stop me, but being forced to stop may also help you vent, maybe asking your BF to pi you down and yuou try to struggle, its an odd idea, but you'll be able to vent, and eventually, you'll tire out and relax again.

when you feel like your gunna explde, i was taught, V.recently to find a place, in your head that makes you happy, whether its real r made up, and take yourself there in your hea by clossing your eyes and breathing deeply, this should calm you down, i havent tried this idea yet, or theres always the ice cube or elastic band idea where you flik the elastic band against your wrist when you feel like SI'ing or going off on one -so to speak.

PM if needed,

Take care.

xxxx

moreoutoflife · Post by **moreoutoflife** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 12:16 pm

Victory (for now)!!!!

Today I was just about to SI, but instead I screamed my lungs out as loud as I ever did before (and believe me, my voice carries very well, considering I'm a high soprano, classically trained vocalist!)....

Then I ran into my room, and even before I could get depressed or even think about anything.... my baby came in and hugged me really really REALLY tight.....

Thought I'd share that with you all...

I hope they all turn out like that from now on... not just for me, but for everyone else out there that feels lost before SI moment takes hold of you and smashes you into harsh reality!

Cuddles,

Shayla.

I'm new - hurting loved ones

I'm new - hurting loved ones

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