i need some major help SI

[talkingtomyself]

hello evryone...ive never posted on this board...ive always posted on main...so its a bit different.....ok i here it goes...oko im really trying to stop SIing but it feels like im so angry/hurt/stressed/selfhating/worthless all the timee that my urges just keepon getting stronger and stronger until i hit the breaking point...and i cut...its really quite horrible because i KNO what i am doing is very wrong and its just going to make me feel guilty/worse and i just do it anyways.....i just feel like screaming WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH ME...but i kno i will never get an answer...it really sux...i hant been SIing too long....3 years next month.....so i dont kno wha tot do...most of my SI episodes are caused by one person in particular and i will stop talking to this person for a while...and it doesnt seem to hwlp...so i will call him and then it just makes me feel werse because he continues to abuse me and hurt me by playing games...he makes me feel un worthy of life....i dont kno if u are just going to shake youre heads at me because my SI is si stereo typical(b/c of someone else)+ but i would just like to remind u that it DID NOT start because of him....he just seems to trigger....sorry im rambling on....very very sorry i kno i sound quite dum right now but im just making sure everyone knos my story so i can get help....i really need to learn how to cope...i need some su ggestions....if u are still reading this i would appreciate any advice



THANK YOU SOOO MUCH

[Guest]

hi! i don't really know what to tell you. i mean i guess sometimes i've si'd because i would feel very unloved by my father, but thats as close as i can get to your situation. all i really have to say and this advise should probably be taken by myself too. but anyway, try to surround yourself with people that make you feel important and wonderful, not shitty and worthless. hope this helps, and i'm sorry if it doesn't i'm not that good at giving advice.

[marylou]

Hey. There isnt anything magic that we can offer you. All we've got here is the distractions, the support and the understanding-how-each-other-is-feeling to offer.
I've don't entirely relate to your one person thing, but I can totally relate to you wanting to scream WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH ME??!!!! I've been doing really well with my SH recently, but last week I had a freaky episode and I just felt like I was losing it completely. I was screaming out too!

I hope you are managing to hold out. I wish I could say something more useful, but you already know all the answers. And they are not found in SH.
Don't SH, it doesn't make it better.

Good to have you on Coping thoug, it's a good sign! Take care of yourself.

[limestone]

...oko im really trying to stop SIing but it feels like im so angry/hurt/stressed/selfhating/worthless all the timee

why are you angry? likewise with the others, but the anger tends to be one of the crucial ones as it can prompt the others to appear.

have you tried making an emergency book? or relaxation stuff to help with feeling stressed?

what kinds of coping things would you like to try? e.g. any ideas you have.

i just feel like screaming WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH ME...but i kno i will never get an answer...

I'd hazard a guess and say nothing is wrong with you - except for you don't sound happy with yourself or life at the moment.
But what do you think is wrong with you?

it really sux...i hant been SIing too long....3 years next month.....so i dont kno wha tot do...most of my SI episodes are caused by one person in particular and i will stop talking to this person for a while...and it doesnt seem to hwlp...so i will call him and then it just makes me feel werse because he continues to abuse me and hurt me by playing games...he makes me feel un worthy of life....

that's good you've identified what can trigger your si. three years is a long time. what makes you keep turning to this person? what would it take to break away from them? do you want to break away from them?

[talkingtomyself]

thanx so much for ure suggestions....i really do want to break away from this person..it just seems impossible im trrying rite but it seems as if he is the only one who can meake me feel better but also the one who can totally fuk me up.......i will post more later..i hope im going to like this board,....thanks much