When You Feel You Cant Go On
- nikki-girl
- creating your space
- Posts: 199
- Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:51 pm
- Location: My Desk in Yorkshire
- Contact:
When You Feel You Cant Go On
This once helped me i hope it can help you.
nikki
I think this is really a progound piece~mama~
When You Feel You Can't Go On
I'm sorry that you're hurting so desperately right now. I know how painful the seconds, and minutes, and days can be, how long the nights are. I understand how very hard hanging on is, and how much courage it takes.
I ask though that you hold onto one day at a time. Just one day, and slowly this despair will pass. The feelings you fear you're trapped in will serve their purpose, and then fade away. Difficult to imagine isn't it? Almost impossible to believe when every cell in your body it seems cries out in agony, desperately in need of comfort. When it feels like the only thing in the whole world that can touch your pain and banish it is beyond your grasp. And after all this time, the assurance that you will heal has become an empty, broken promise.
Just let one tiny cell in your body continue to believe in the promise of healing. Just one. You can surrender every other cell to your despair. Just that one little cell of faith that you can heal and be whole again is enough to keep you going, is enough to lead you through the darkness. Although it can't banish your suffering, it can sustain you until the time comes for you to let your pain go. And the letting go can only occur in it's own time, as much as we would like to push the pain away forever.
Hold on. Hold on to appreciate the beauty of the earth, to feel the songs of the birds in your heart, to learn and to teach, to laugh a genuine laugh, to dance on the beach, to rest peacefully, to experience contentment, to want to be no other place but in the here and now, to trust in yourself, and to trust your life.
Hold on because it's worth the terrible waiting. Hold on because you are worthy. Hold on because the wisdom that will follow you out of this darkness will be a tremendous gift. Hold on because you have so much love and joy waiting to be experienced. Hold on because life is precious, even though it can bring terrible losses. Hold on because there is so much that you can't now imagine waiting ahead on your journey - a destiny that only you can fulfill. Hold on although your exhausted and your grasp is shaky, and you want more than anything to let go sometimes, hold on even though. Please hold on.
So much in life can be difficult, even impossible to understand. I know, I know... So many of us have cried in despair, why? why? why? and still the answers and the comfort failed to show. Survival can be a long and lonely road, in spite of all those who've stumbled down the path before you. And it can be a treacherous, torturous journey - so easy to get lost, and yet impossible to avoid even one painful step.
And the light, the light at the end of the dark tunnel for so long cannot be seen, although eventually you'll begin to feel its' warmth as you move forward. And forward you must move in order to get through the hell of remembering, of despair, of rage, of grief. Keep looking forward please. Rest if you must, doubt your ability to survive the journey if you have to, but never let go of the guide ropes, although when you close your fingers around them, your hands feel empty, they are there. Please trust me, they are there.
When you're exhausted, when all you have to count on is a weakened, weary faith, hold on. When you think you want to die, hold on until you recognize that it's not death you seek, but for the pain to go away. Hold on, because this darkness will surely fade away. Hold on. Please hold on.
nikki
I think this is really a progound piece~mama~
When You Feel You Can't Go On
I'm sorry that you're hurting so desperately right now. I know how painful the seconds, and minutes, and days can be, how long the nights are. I understand how very hard hanging on is, and how much courage it takes.
I ask though that you hold onto one day at a time. Just one day, and slowly this despair will pass. The feelings you fear you're trapped in will serve their purpose, and then fade away. Difficult to imagine isn't it? Almost impossible to believe when every cell in your body it seems cries out in agony, desperately in need of comfort. When it feels like the only thing in the whole world that can touch your pain and banish it is beyond your grasp. And after all this time, the assurance that you will heal has become an empty, broken promise.
Just let one tiny cell in your body continue to believe in the promise of healing. Just one. You can surrender every other cell to your despair. Just that one little cell of faith that you can heal and be whole again is enough to keep you going, is enough to lead you through the darkness. Although it can't banish your suffering, it can sustain you until the time comes for you to let your pain go. And the letting go can only occur in it's own time, as much as we would like to push the pain away forever.
Hold on. Hold on to appreciate the beauty of the earth, to feel the songs of the birds in your heart, to learn and to teach, to laugh a genuine laugh, to dance on the beach, to rest peacefully, to experience contentment, to want to be no other place but in the here and now, to trust in yourself, and to trust your life.
Hold on because it's worth the terrible waiting. Hold on because you are worthy. Hold on because the wisdom that will follow you out of this darkness will be a tremendous gift. Hold on because you have so much love and joy waiting to be experienced. Hold on because life is precious, even though it can bring terrible losses. Hold on because there is so much that you can't now imagine waiting ahead on your journey - a destiny that only you can fulfill. Hold on although your exhausted and your grasp is shaky, and you want more than anything to let go sometimes, hold on even though. Please hold on.
So much in life can be difficult, even impossible to understand. I know, I know... So many of us have cried in despair, why? why? why? and still the answers and the comfort failed to show. Survival can be a long and lonely road, in spite of all those who've stumbled down the path before you. And it can be a treacherous, torturous journey - so easy to get lost, and yet impossible to avoid even one painful step.
And the light, the light at the end of the dark tunnel for so long cannot be seen, although eventually you'll begin to feel its' warmth as you move forward. And forward you must move in order to get through the hell of remembering, of despair, of rage, of grief. Keep looking forward please. Rest if you must, doubt your ability to survive the journey if you have to, but never let go of the guide ropes, although when you close your fingers around them, your hands feel empty, they are there. Please trust me, they are there.
When you're exhausted, when all you have to count on is a weakened, weary faith, hold on. When you think you want to die, hold on until you recognize that it's not death you seek, but for the pain to go away. Hold on, because this darkness will surely fade away. Hold on. Please hold on.
-
- settling in
- Posts: 113
- Joined: Sat Mar 27, 2004 10:11 am
- Location: Australia
- Contact:
- swanfaerie
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 41238
- Joined: Mon Dec 22, 2003 2:40 am
- Gender: Cygnus fae
- Location: West Coast USA
Re: When You Feel You Cant Go On
nikki-girl wrote:When you're exhausted, when all you have to count on is a weakened, weary faith, hold on. When you think you want to die, hold on until you recognize that it's not death you seek, but for the pain to go away. Hold on, because this darkness will surely fade away. Hold on. Please hold on.
Don't do anything stupid.
It's hard to ignore a naked person.
You're a good boy too, Mommy
make your own snowflake!
Place
It's hard to ignore a naked person.
You're a good boy too, Mommy
make your own snowflake!
Place
Re: When You Feel You Cant Go On
nikki-girl wrote:I ask though that you hold onto one day at a time. Just one day, and slowly this despair will pass. The feelings you fear you're trapped in will serve their purpose, and then fade away. Difficult to imagine isn't it? Almost impossible to believe when every cell in your body it seems cries out in agony, desperately in need of comfort. When it feels like the only thing in the whole world that can touch your pain and banish it is beyond your grasp. And after all this time, the assurance that you will heal has become an empty, broken promise.
im crying, the first time in a while.
thank you ever so much for posting this.
Get Real they tell me
If only they new how real this life really gets
If only they new how real this life really gets
- Twitter Mouse
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 11338
- Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2003 3:02 am
- meglet_123
- one of us
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2004 5:37 pm
- Location: United Kingdom
- Contact:
wow
Really not been feeling on top of the world tonight....at all, just read your post and it really made me think. So thank you.
Meggie
Meggie
Nobody said it would be easy, nobody said it would be so hard
-
- settling in
- Posts: 126
- Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 8:54 am
- Location: in the next life
Re: When You Feel You Cant Go On
started crying when read this bitnikki-girl wrote:Hold on because you are worthy..
- lazypirates
- sprouting branches
- Posts: 1000
- Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2004 5:34 am
- Location: Minnesota
- Contact:
I'm printing it too! It's beautiful, thankyou so much for sharing it with us.
I almost cried with the "hold on because you are worthy" part. That is going to keep me going for a while.
8 days and counting!
I almost cried with the "hold on because you are worthy" part. That is going to keep me going for a while.
8 days and counting!
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."
- angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
Wow that was brilliant you have made me happy sad and tearful for the first time in ages i havent been able to even feel for ages but this has brought all these emotions in wow thankyou xx
Be you a high
Be you a low
It does not matter
For you are too and fro
<br clear="all">
<img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs ... g=KateFach" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS">
<br clear="all">
*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... Fach">give KateFach more *HUGS*</a>
<br><small><a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/gethugs.cgi">Get hugs of your own</a></small><br clear="all">
Be you a low
It does not matter
For you are too and fro
<br clear="all">
<img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs ... g=KateFach" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS">
<br clear="all">
*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... Fach">give KateFach more *HUGS*</a>
<br><small><a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/gethugs.cgi">Get hugs of your own</a></small><br clear="all">
thanks
I thought i had reached that end, where hope is in abundance, then every thing fell apart, i was almost ready to end meds completley,i could cope, it hurts so bad, i'm crying, Cause when i broke apart i landed straight back where i was at first....... I"m still crying and have been for two hours but you message gave me tears that someone understood.... thanks
How did the miracle of your creating your message come about?
The second half of last week I saved my spouse's life about three times--spouse was going to insulin shock. Spouse has been juvenile diabetic since 9 years old and is now about 53 years old.
Then THIS week I was driving spouse to spouse's therapy session mondayn night when it was too dark for spouse to drive (diabetic problems have lessens spouse's night vision. Spouse hit me repeatedly on my right arm as i was driving...after 90 minutes of verbal raging at the top of spouse's voice.
saw my talk therapist last Thursday. I said...well, it's your time to talk now, I've tzalked for 35 minutes. He shrugged. What, I asked, there's nothing i don't already know and I've learned all i can about staying in marriage with a borderline personality? Yes, he replied.
I said I pay you 75 dollars for the hour...I'll pay yoiu _seventy_six__ dollars today to help me more.....
My pill medication doctor this week said i was a saint.... I won't be rewarded till the after-life as far as he can tell and i can't go THERE early but can only trod on. (((Does that make me a trod-low-dike?)))
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR MESSAGE!!!! LOVE, pos
The second half of last week I saved my spouse's life about three times--spouse was going to insulin shock. Spouse has been juvenile diabetic since 9 years old and is now about 53 years old.
Then THIS week I was driving spouse to spouse's therapy session mondayn night when it was too dark for spouse to drive (diabetic problems have lessens spouse's night vision. Spouse hit me repeatedly on my right arm as i was driving...after 90 minutes of verbal raging at the top of spouse's voice.
saw my talk therapist last Thursday. I said...well, it's your time to talk now, I've tzalked for 35 minutes. He shrugged. What, I asked, there's nothing i don't already know and I've learned all i can about staying in marriage with a borderline personality? Yes, he replied.
I said I pay you 75 dollars for the hour...I'll pay yoiu _seventy_six__ dollars today to help me more.....
My pill medication doctor this week said i was a saint.... I won't be rewarded till the after-life as far as he can tell and i can't go THERE early but can only trod on. (((Does that make me a trod-low-dike?)))
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR MESSAGE!!!! LOVE, pos
I'm gonna print that out and stick it in my diary
<center>
Some days I pray for silence, and somedays I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N Roll
Some nights I lose the feeling, and some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls
Maybe I'm lonely and that's all I'm qualified to be
</center>
Some days I pray for silence, and somedays I pray for soul
Some days I just pray to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N Roll
Some nights I lose the feeling, and some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all when I watch you dance and the thunder rolls
Maybe I'm lonely and that's all I'm qualified to be
</center>
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests