L- I wish I had your hope for me. It makes me so depressed to hear you talk about you not giving up on me. "We will beat this", you say, but I don't believe you. I wish I could, but I really really don't.
I still love you. You make me feel special in all the ways I tell myself I don't need, but somehow you know. It makes me uncomfortable and it makes me step away from you, but at night when I'm alone I appreciate it. I'm sorry I'm pushing you away, I don't know what else to do.
A- You're like a father to me and I love you so much. You let me down and I cried, I so much. But you're human and you make mistakes. I'm sorry I put you up on that pedestal, just to have to watch you fall from it. It was my own fault. No one could be that perfect. Thankyou for sticking with me. It makes all the difference. And it makes all the difference to know you're not perfect. I love you.
O- I hate it most when I have to tell you I SH. I know how upset it can make you, I can imagine your face in head when I text you. I want so much to be on your level, and somedays it feels like we are, but most of the time I feel like your babysitting me or something. You said once that sometimes you forget I'm younger than. I can't help but feel like that is gone. I love that you look after me like you look after your sisters., but I wish we could be equal again. I hate that my life has to be like this.
D- God brought you to me. You've helped me change my life. I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I was making such progress before I was out about the SH thing! You took it well. I never needed you more than I do now. Is there anything I can do to surprise you, anything to make you not love me (you don't say it, but I know you do!)? I feel like I'm always safe with you, nothing is too bad. Thankyou. I wish I didn't need you as much as I do, I wish I wasn't so high-maintenence. I'm sorry that Susie gets mad at you. I can't wait to lead this team with you! You're amazing, so inspiring, so challenging and you never make me feel less than I am. You don't judge me and treat me equally. Thanks for the reassuring hand on the shoulder movement. I know it's depth of meaning.
*************
M & D- Are you proud of me? I don't know anymore. I try so hard, I've tried my whole to be who I think you want me to be. I've stuck to all your rules and stayed out of trouble. What more do you want from me? You love the others more, I don't understand. I haven't made the mistakes they made, I haven't been the trouble they have been. Even now you don't know about my problems because I'm trying to be who you want me to be. I love you. It hurts. Are you proud of me?
T- My baby brother, I love you. You make so many mistakes and do so many stupid things, you make me so angry and so worried all the time. Together forever, you're the best. I love you.
J- I love it when we hang out together. We do nothing, it's slightly awkward, we don't have tons to talk about. We don't have much in common anymore. But you're my big brother. You've always been my protection, even when you weren't trying. I love you.
B- You made me so angry, so mad, you're so stupid!! How could you do that? You tore my life apart!! It's still screwing me up, I still cry. But I love you. You keep me together, you love me when I don't deserve it. You make time for me and I see you trying to love me, even though we don't know how to love properly. Maybe one day I'll tell you all this, I'd like to. Andy is amazing. I love him. You deserve him, he is so lucky to have you. You make up so many of my aspirations. Thankyou for letting me learn from your mistakes and for making room for mine. I couldn't hope for a better sister. I love you.
***********
C- I wish I could tell what's going on. I really really wish I could tell you. I'm so sorry I have to keep this from you. I'm sorry I can't be straight with you. I'm sorry I have to tell half-truths and half-stories. I hate doing it to you. I can see it destroying us, I see me destroying you. I just don't have whatever you need just now and I can't be straight enough to deserve what I need. I hope one day you'll understand. Then you'll see, I'm protecting you. I love you so much. Sometimes you're all that keeps me going. I love you.
S- I'm not trying to steal D. I'm sorry that I'm taking up so much of his time, I'm sorry that he has to keep secrets from you. I'm not trying to hurt you. You are so lucky to have him, please don't be mad at him. He is helping to keep me alive. Please don't get mad and make him choose. You would win, he's crazy about you, he's in love with you.
Please don't take him away from me.
Do- Somedays it's so good to have you around. Somedays you just gotta get out of my face! Try and learn to recognise what day it is. I love you all the same, don't change.
D McG- You screwed up my life. All the good things you gave have turned sour. You are why I'm like this. I will forgive you everyday for the rest of my life. I will not let your memory do this to me anymore.
S4A- You guys! You don't even know me. You don't know my problems. But somehow you keep doing little things that just make me feel good. I'm starting to love you already, isn't that crazy?! Thanks especially to MaryLou for the use of your name! Can't wait to come home and see you all.
AW- You give me so much hope. In someways I barely know you. I loved playing violin for you, in someways I feel so connected to you. You deserve respect and you have mine.
Mr.M- You are a very very bad man. I'm trying to forgive you for what you did to me, and to all those other girls. It makes me sick that I never even knew what you were up to until it was too late. I thought you were a great teacher, but it's all ruined. You make me feel so dirty.
Mr.C- The man who made Physics survivable! You deserve a medal!! I know life is hard in that school, I know you get so much crap, but you are amazing. You made a difference in my life.
All you other guys- rest assured your influence will not be forgotten, even though your name might be! You bad guys, I forgive you, I'm so over what you did to my life. You good guys, thankyou doesn't even come close. You make my life worth another day.
Things Left Unsaid *LA*
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Guest
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Black Dahlia
- building community
- Posts: 556
- Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 5:23 pm
- Location: Up above Blackheath, London, England
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disengaged_mind
- one of us
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 3:30 am
- Location: Indiana
- Contact:
Mary: I thought that we were friends. I'm sick and tired of you not being there for me. Now all you have time for is to screw around with Bob. I hate it when you call YOUR mistake with Garrett "forced". You have no idea what that word means. You are always about going with the flow and never having your own opinion. You are too weak to stand up for yourself. You are a hypocrite and i hate you.
Bob: You said that you would always be there. Is that before or after you stop being Mary's lapdog? No, I, however am a true friend and i didn't tell her that on vacation you wanted me to come over and sleep with you. Firstly, you know i'm not like that. Secondly, you know my past and I hate you.
Joey and Mark: Can you see me through the smoke? good. listen up. You two are pathetic, useless, worms. And i hate you. Just because you couln't get in my pants? yeah, thats mature. I'm stronger than you. so bring it on.
Dad: You were never there. You always had to have more and more didn't you? You never took the time to see what a great family we could have been did you? You are a worthless piece of scum. You weren't there to protect me from them. You never stepped in. Now that it's over you've never reached out of appologized. I was so scared and alone and you couldn't just swallow your pride and love me. That's all I ever wanted was your love. and i still do, but i hate you.
Silas: I hate you. I will always hate you. You made me feel like nothing when i was everything. You destroyed me all over again. I hope someday i can return the favor. It makes me very happy to know that you are the one down in the dirt this time. You're the one getting kicked in the face, and spit on. You lied to me. You belittled me. You made me feel unimportant to the highest degree. Stop singing. I hate you.
Rick: You are a sick and twisted man. I hate you most of all. You ruined my life even more. I came to you for a father figure and what did i get? someday i'd like to drag YOU out to the middle of a field and listen to you scream and scream and scream and have nobody come running. Stay away from my cousins. You have made me stronger though. Where i once was scared to death of you, now i am not afraid to kill you should we cross paths. but it will not be a quick death. It will be slow and more painful than you can even imagine. The same way you killed me.
Grandma and Grandpa: You can't see him doing any wrong can you? Even though you know what he did to me and how he hurt me for so long. You'd rather call me a liar than have you perfect world that you've worked so "hard" for. You can keep it. I don't need your family. I don't need your judgement. I don't need your sympathy. I don't need any of it. I don't need you. Do you understand me? I hate you both. You've never done anything for me. You are not my family. Go ahead and shake your heads at me. Rick isn't even really part of your family. He married your daughter. I am. but you don't care. Mom's always been the bad seed though, hasn't she? well just look at me. I'm stronger than you. I'm truer than you. I'm better off without you. I hate you.
Mom: You are my hero. I'm to full of pride to admit it. But i do know what you go through to keep this family together. I want to tell you how much i hurt and what i've done. I want so much to curl up in your lap and just be held, like when i was little. I love you. I know i never say it and i should, but i can't. so here it is; I love you. Please see me.
Kyle: I don't know what it is about you. You are always there at the right time in the right place to save me from myself. You are always there for me no matter what happened in your day. No matter who stomped on you. But please, Kyle, don't let it be one sided. Cry to me when you need help. I can handle it, i promise. I love you, bubbie.
Zach: Even though you've hurt me in the past, even though i have to pretend to listen to your problems (just kidding) Even though i try so hard to push you away...you're still here. Why? Why do you try so hard? Why do you love me? Can you tell that all those times i told you i hated you or i hurt you, i was really reaching out to you? I'm sorry i can't love you the way you'd like me to. I'm sorry we have to be just friends. But you can do better than me and you deserve better regardless of what you may think. stop worrying about me. I'm sorry, i can't stop. I'll be alive tomorrow, but no promises. I'm sorry.
Ryan: Please just answer me. I love being around you. I love talking to you. You lift my spirits. I love you so much. (maybe even in a romantic sense) Thank you for making me feel good about myself. I need that. Thank you for venting on me. It makes me feel needed. Please don't ever feel worthless, because you mean the world to me. You are so strong. I wish i could be closer to you. I love you, hun.
everyone: i'm sorry i'll never be good enough, i'm sorry i'll never be pretty enough. i'm sorry i'll never be thin enough. i'm sorry i'll never be smart enough, i'm sorry i'll never be nice enough, i'm sorry i'll never fit your picture of normal. i'm sorry. but screw your stereotypes. i can beat you. screw your picture of normal i'm never going to buy into it. it's not me. i am a castout of society and i like it that way.
God: I am so sorry for disappointing you. I know how much love and joy you have for me if i'll only turn to you when i'm in trouble. Lord, i'm sorry for blaming you when something goes wrong. All those times i asked you "why?" well now i know. I'm so much stronger than pain. so why do i keep falling into this trap? why do i keep ruining your masterpiece. i look exactly as you want me to, why can't i be happy enough.
Bob: You said that you would always be there. Is that before or after you stop being Mary's lapdog? No, I, however am a true friend and i didn't tell her that on vacation you wanted me to come over and sleep with you. Firstly, you know i'm not like that. Secondly, you know my past and I hate you.
Joey and Mark: Can you see me through the smoke? good. listen up. You two are pathetic, useless, worms. And i hate you. Just because you couln't get in my pants? yeah, thats mature. I'm stronger than you. so bring it on.
Dad: You were never there. You always had to have more and more didn't you? You never took the time to see what a great family we could have been did you? You are a worthless piece of scum. You weren't there to protect me from them. You never stepped in. Now that it's over you've never reached out of appologized. I was so scared and alone and you couldn't just swallow your pride and love me. That's all I ever wanted was your love. and i still do, but i hate you.
Silas: I hate you. I will always hate you. You made me feel like nothing when i was everything. You destroyed me all over again. I hope someday i can return the favor. It makes me very happy to know that you are the one down in the dirt this time. You're the one getting kicked in the face, and spit on. You lied to me. You belittled me. You made me feel unimportant to the highest degree. Stop singing. I hate you.
Rick: You are a sick and twisted man. I hate you most of all. You ruined my life even more. I came to you for a father figure and what did i get? someday i'd like to drag YOU out to the middle of a field and listen to you scream and scream and scream and have nobody come running. Stay away from my cousins. You have made me stronger though. Where i once was scared to death of you, now i am not afraid to kill you should we cross paths. but it will not be a quick death. It will be slow and more painful than you can even imagine. The same way you killed me.
Grandma and Grandpa: You can't see him doing any wrong can you? Even though you know what he did to me and how he hurt me for so long. You'd rather call me a liar than have you perfect world that you've worked so "hard" for. You can keep it. I don't need your family. I don't need your judgement. I don't need your sympathy. I don't need any of it. I don't need you. Do you understand me? I hate you both. You've never done anything for me. You are not my family. Go ahead and shake your heads at me. Rick isn't even really part of your family. He married your daughter. I am. but you don't care. Mom's always been the bad seed though, hasn't she? well just look at me. I'm stronger than you. I'm truer than you. I'm better off without you. I hate you.
Mom: You are my hero. I'm to full of pride to admit it. But i do know what you go through to keep this family together. I want to tell you how much i hurt and what i've done. I want so much to curl up in your lap and just be held, like when i was little. I love you. I know i never say it and i should, but i can't. so here it is; I love you. Please see me.
Kyle: I don't know what it is about you. You are always there at the right time in the right place to save me from myself. You are always there for me no matter what happened in your day. No matter who stomped on you. But please, Kyle, don't let it be one sided. Cry to me when you need help. I can handle it, i promise. I love you, bubbie.
Zach: Even though you've hurt me in the past, even though i have to pretend to listen to your problems (just kidding) Even though i try so hard to push you away...you're still here. Why? Why do you try so hard? Why do you love me? Can you tell that all those times i told you i hated you or i hurt you, i was really reaching out to you? I'm sorry i can't love you the way you'd like me to. I'm sorry we have to be just friends. But you can do better than me and you deserve better regardless of what you may think. stop worrying about me. I'm sorry, i can't stop. I'll be alive tomorrow, but no promises. I'm sorry.
Ryan: Please just answer me. I love being around you. I love talking to you. You lift my spirits. I love you so much. (maybe even in a romantic sense) Thank you for making me feel good about myself. I need that. Thank you for venting on me. It makes me feel needed. Please don't ever feel worthless, because you mean the world to me. You are so strong. I wish i could be closer to you. I love you, hun.
everyone: i'm sorry i'll never be good enough, i'm sorry i'll never be pretty enough. i'm sorry i'll never be thin enough. i'm sorry i'll never be smart enough, i'm sorry i'll never be nice enough, i'm sorry i'll never fit your picture of normal. i'm sorry. but screw your stereotypes. i can beat you. screw your picture of normal i'm never going to buy into it. it's not me. i am a castout of society and i like it that way.
God: I am so sorry for disappointing you. I know how much love and joy you have for me if i'll only turn to you when i'm in trouble. Lord, i'm sorry for blaming you when something goes wrong. All those times i asked you "why?" well now i know. I'm so much stronger than pain. so why do i keep falling into this trap? why do i keep ruining your masterpiece. i look exactly as you want me to, why can't i be happy enough.
isn't it ironic that i am not understanding you until you're gone? i remember your words (that I didn't listen to), your rants, your anger, your bitterness. and i understand. or i understand a part of it now, mother. i do, i do. for how many thousands of dinners cooked are forgotten, meaningless, simply a cause of more dishes to wash and spoiled children? i understand now. yet i cannot understand how this was your life. i have this hope of going away, but you knew this was your life, for the rest of your life. little things.
i'm sick now, mom, and i feel terrible. i want to cry. but i want you to be here and to hold me, and to tell me it's going to be ok. God i miss you more than i knew i could miss someone. it hurts so much inside, it hurts just to be alive, because yo uaren't. mom, i love you... why did you leave me? i can't handle it all, mom. i really can't. i have so much work to do, and college applications, and piano, and now all the housework and the cooking and clubs... mom i miss you. i can't go on without you.
i'm sick now, mom, and i feel terrible. i want to cry. but i want you to be here and to hold me, and to tell me it's going to be ok. God i miss you more than i knew i could miss someone. it hurts so much inside, it hurts just to be alive, because yo uaren't. mom, i love you... why did you leave me? i can't handle it all, mom. i really can't. i have so much work to do, and college applications, and piano, and now all the housework and the cooking and clubs... mom i miss you. i can't go on without you.
"life is short but sweet for certain."
^dave matthews band
"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love."
^richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull
^dave matthews band
"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love."
^richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull
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morganbellamy
- settling in
- Posts: 126
- Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 8:54 am
- Location: in the next life
m: please whateva you dont dont like me, stay away from me, i turn people against me, like joe, he loved me but im so fucking screwed up it was too werid and i turned him against me its all my fault. i dont deserve to be happy, im such a worthless shit that i dont deserve it, and if there is even the slightest chance that i cud be thinking about being happy i will find a way to change that wether i mean to or not and so you have to stay away cos if we were together i wud be s
j: what is ur problem? y did u have to make me so happy, when i was with you i was a worthy person, was so happy when i was with you and now its all over it hurts even more than before y do u have to do this to me? why? becos i dont deserve happiness i jst dont, and so when ii saw myself happy with you that had to change and i am so sorry if i hurt you in the process but i cant help being a screwed up worthless person. why did you hvae to make me rely on you? i trusted you, i relyd on you and that was a bad thing cos there is no one i can rely on because one day they will be gone and then it will hurt even more and i jst dont wanna hurt anymore, it hurts so much and i jst wanna go to a place where nothing can find me nothing can hurt me why did i meet you? why did u have to tell them to tell me to be more hopeful? hopeful is a bad thing! iits bad to have hope, its bad cos in the end you will jst get hurt
i want to be with you, you are an amazing person who makes mme so happy but that cannot be, there is no way we can be together and still be happy and that makes it even sadder cos more than anything i want to be with you but that cant happen, it jst cant, and it never will happen again. i cant be happy it is jst not possible for me i dont deserve it.
i am going to have to come to terms with the fact that i cannt be with you, i cannot be happy. because i dont deserve it. and i cant be with anyone else because as soon as i think that i am happy in the situation i will have to change that again and that wil hurt you too and i dont want to hurt you becauseyou dont deserve to be hurt more, no one deserves to be with me cause i will jst bring misery and grief to the relationship, becasue i cant be happy
j: what is ur problem? y did u have to make me so happy, when i was with you i was a worthy person, was so happy when i was with you and now its all over it hurts even more than before y do u have to do this to me? why? becos i dont deserve happiness i jst dont, and so when ii saw myself happy with you that had to change and i am so sorry if i hurt you in the process but i cant help being a screwed up worthless person. why did you hvae to make me rely on you? i trusted you, i relyd on you and that was a bad thing cos there is no one i can rely on because one day they will be gone and then it will hurt even more and i jst dont wanna hurt anymore, it hurts so much and i jst wanna go to a place where nothing can find me nothing can hurt me why did i meet you? why did u have to tell them to tell me to be more hopeful? hopeful is a bad thing! iits bad to have hope, its bad cos in the end you will jst get hurt
i want to be with you, you are an amazing person who makes mme so happy but that cannot be, there is no way we can be together and still be happy and that makes it even sadder cos more than anything i want to be with you but that cant happen, it jst cant, and it never will happen again. i cant be happy it is jst not possible for me i dont deserve it.
i am going to have to come to terms with the fact that i cannt be with you, i cannot be happy. because i dont deserve it. and i cant be with anyone else because as soon as i think that i am happy in the situation i will have to change that again and that wil hurt you too and i dont want to hurt you becauseyou dont deserve to be hurt more, no one deserves to be with me cause i will jst bring misery and grief to the relationship, becasue i cant be happy
It's as simple as that, you are so beautiful in every dimension
D- I sooo totally appreciate your help and your stupid prat sense of humour. Thanks for letting me just lie on your couch with the duvet all day. Thanks for letting me go under the covers and be alone. For letting me talk, letting me close my eyes, letting me take forever to say stuff.
I'm sorry about what happened at church, I couldn't stop myself. I didn't know what else to do. Thanks for asking me to stop.
I feel really safe when I'm around you.
To all 4- I looked at pictures today. I read stories. I triggered myself. I made it worse. I wanted to. I promised myself I wouldn't SH unless I was really desperate and so I decided to make myself really desperate. I'm sorry if I don't make it through tonight. I don't deserve your help when I do stuff like this. I feel like I'm just spitting in your face. But can I still ask you for help even when I've brought it upon myself? Do I still deserve your time, your life? I hate that I need you. I don't want to.
I'm sorry about what happened at church, I couldn't stop myself. I didn't know what else to do. Thanks for asking me to stop.
I feel really safe when I'm around you.
To all 4- I looked at pictures today. I read stories. I triggered myself. I made it worse. I wanted to. I promised myself I wouldn't SH unless I was really desperate and so I decided to make myself really desperate. I'm sorry if I don't make it through tonight. I don't deserve your help when I do stuff like this. I feel like I'm just spitting in your face. But can I still ask you for help even when I've brought it upon myself? Do I still deserve your time, your life? I hate that I need you. I don't want to.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."
Tom: why did u never show that you loved me?? by the time it was too late you told me you were in love with me. dont you see, i need/deserve more than that??when jessie told you she expected more; she was right. start dealing with your own issues and stop pretending you dont have any. learn to express your feelings. you aggrevate me so much but i miss you greatly and i still love you. i should never have let you go.
Jane: you bitch why did u do this to me? how come you made me this way!? why have you done this to me? do i deserve this?
Mark: IT'S NOT MY FAULT. IT'S NOT ANYONES FAULT. YOU'RE NOT PERFECT. I DONT NEED YOU.
----: i want you so much. i think i love you.
Jamie: why dont u just show me you care you bastard? you are a selfish wanker.
Anna: go fuck yourself, bitch.
Richard: thanks for nothing. you're shit at your job anyway.
Sarah: why did u do this to yourself???please get better soon.please please please i wish all the time you would be beter again.
Katie: i wish you would talk to me more. i wish things were different for you. i wish you would tell me stuff.
Lily: you're so important to me. please dont go, i cant bare to loose anymore. i love you.
Jane: you bitch why did u do this to me? how come you made me this way!? why have you done this to me? do i deserve this?
Mark: IT'S NOT MY FAULT. IT'S NOT ANYONES FAULT. YOU'RE NOT PERFECT. I DONT NEED YOU.
----: i want you so much. i think i love you.
Jamie: why dont u just show me you care you bastard? you are a selfish wanker.
Anna: go fuck yourself, bitch.
Richard: thanks for nothing. you're shit at your job anyway.
Sarah: why did u do this to yourself???please get better soon.please please please i wish all the time you would be beter again.
Katie: i wish you would talk to me more. i wish things were different for you. i wish you would tell me stuff.
Lily: you're so important to me. please dont go, i cant bare to loose anymore. i love you.
Love ru x
I can't stand by and see you destroyed
I can't be here and watch you burning
It doesn't matter if I give in easy
So why is it so hard to get by?
I can't stand by and see you destroyed
I can't be here and watch you burning
It doesn't matter if I give in easy
So why is it so hard to get by?
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blink182
- part of the fixtures
- Posts: 2405
- Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2004 9:34 pm
- Location: Waiting For Somebody To Save Me
- Contact:
S - I love you,darling.You rock my world.you're aways on my mind.xxxx
Mum - you're amazing.I love you.I miss you,everyday.xxxxx
Dad - Now you're gone I'm glad.I hate you.I always have.
Mum - you're amazing.I love you.I miss you,everyday.xxxxx
Dad - Now you're gone I'm glad.I hate you.I always have.
<a href="http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=63007" target="0"><img src="http://img58.exs.cx/img58/5505/q8hblink.jpg" alt="Blink's Place" border="0"></a>
Being Happy Dosen't Mean That Everything Is Perfect - My LiveJournal
Paige is my Rockin' Potato!
And I'm her Rockin' Sausage!
0 Days Free
Being Happy Dosen't Mean That Everything Is Perfect - My LiveJournal
Paige is my Rockin' Potato! And I'm her Rockin' Sausage!
0 Days Free -
Twinky
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8090
- Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2003 2:21 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: In a world of chocolate
Mike : I wish you'd reply to me when I text you
I wish you never told Pippa. WHY did you tell Pippa? You have both now made it really difficult for me to trust you, or to even develop any sort of relationship with her.
Mike I'm going to lose you when you get married and leave Uni because you'll then be together and I can't cope with that... I mean I love the fact you're getting married... I just can't cope with you with her
Pippa: I'm sorry but you really scare me. I'm terrified when I see you you're gonna come and talk to me. I'ts so awkward and I hate it and I'm sorry but I don't know what else to do
I wish you never told Pippa. WHY did you tell Pippa? You have both now made it really difficult for me to trust you, or to even develop any sort of relationship with her.
Mike I'm going to lose you when you get married and leave Uni because you'll then be together and I can't cope with that... I mean I love the fact you're getting married... I just can't cope with you with her
Pippa: I'm sorry but you really scare me. I'm terrified when I see you you're gonna come and talk to me. I'ts so awkward and I hate it and I'm sorry but I don't know what else to do
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Guest
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morganbellamy
- settling in
- Posts: 126
- Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 8:54 am
- Location: in the next life
Mom: I wish we didnt fight as much, i love you.
Dad: I miss you so much.
Karen: You dumb ass bitch, god damnit, no one likes you, we all hate you, stop trying to be my friend. Let alone pushing the damn bible on me. and back off of Beau....i saw what you did on Thursday with megan
Megan: Is it really neccesary to go and tell bryce everything that i fucking say about his article behind my back.
ACH Student Body: CAN YOU GUYS BE ANY MORE FUCKING PASSIVE?!?!?!
Bryce: Did i say that i would vote for a god damn women if she was running.....no i didnt
Tami: for god damn once stop tearing me down
Mrs. Guptill: God im sorry that nothing i do is never at your quality level, maybe someone else should be the editor
Mr. Gloyn: stop fucking pushing you beliefs about bush adn the war on everyone else, even tho most of the class is passive or they love bush...doesnt mean you should push it on us
Beau: I love you, but how could you not freak out when you found out that i almost died Wensday morning when i ended up in the ditch? you freak out about everything but not about that?
Brylee: Do you have to ease drop on me and Beaus conversations, and tell me to watch my language? thanks bitch
Jake: Was it really necessary to tell everyone that beau has a curvier body than i do? yea it was funny at first....until everyone was fucking laughing at me....
Bob and Nick: Thanks for just staring at me when i said hi to you tonight before me and Beau left to go home after working my shift at the carnival....just fucking shun me from the family.
Grandpa: do you really have to fucking stare at me like im crazy everytime i come home everynight? ill be glad when im living in town.
Danni: will you stop fucking bitching about everything....jesus christ....i thought i was bad
Dad: I miss you so much.
Karen: You dumb ass bitch, god damnit, no one likes you, we all hate you, stop trying to be my friend. Let alone pushing the damn bible on me. and back off of Beau....i saw what you did on Thursday with megan
Megan: Is it really neccesary to go and tell bryce everything that i fucking say about his article behind my back.
ACH Student Body: CAN YOU GUYS BE ANY MORE FUCKING PASSIVE?!?!?!
Bryce: Did i say that i would vote for a god damn women if she was running.....no i didnt
Tami: for god damn once stop tearing me down
Mrs. Guptill: God im sorry that nothing i do is never at your quality level, maybe someone else should be the editor
Mr. Gloyn: stop fucking pushing you beliefs about bush adn the war on everyone else, even tho most of the class is passive or they love bush...doesnt mean you should push it on us
Beau: I love you, but how could you not freak out when you found out that i almost died Wensday morning when i ended up in the ditch? you freak out about everything but not about that?
Brylee: Do you have to ease drop on me and Beaus conversations, and tell me to watch my language? thanks bitch
Jake: Was it really necessary to tell everyone that beau has a curvier body than i do? yea it was funny at first....until everyone was fucking laughing at me....
Bob and Nick: Thanks for just staring at me when i said hi to you tonight before me and Beau left to go home after working my shift at the carnival....just fucking shun me from the family.
Grandpa: do you really have to fucking stare at me like im crazy everytime i come home everynight? ill be glad when im living in town.
Danni: will you stop fucking bitching about everything....jesus christ....i thought i was bad
-
mazaru
- building community
- Posts: 668
- Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2004 10:13 pm
- Location: somewhere between the coffee table and the ocean
Kat: Don't blank me just because I tell the truth. Yes, it's uncomfortable, but don't shoot the messenger.
Ruth: I'm not trying to exclude you. It's just that I've found some people who think the same as me, and you've already insulted them without knowing it. Don't judge, and don't think that just smiling at me a lot will get the problem sorted.
Dan: You know my phone number. You have my email address. It's been weeks. For fuck's sake.
K: I'm terrified of seeing you over Christmas. Please don't start on me. We can all sit and point out the bad things about each others' coping mechanisms. But you suppressed this enough when we were together. You don't get to do it now that we're not.
Ruth: I'm not trying to exclude you. It's just that I've found some people who think the same as me, and you've already insulted them without knowing it. Don't judge, and don't think that just smiling at me a lot will get the problem sorted.
Dan: You know my phone number. You have my email address. It's been weeks. For fuck's sake.
K: I'm terrified of seeing you over Christmas. Please don't start on me. We can all sit and point out the bad things about each others' coping mechanisms. But you suppressed this enough when we were together. You don't get to do it now that we're not.
Maz
It takes both the sun and the rain to make a rainbow.
<a href="http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... 6806">This is not an exit.</a>
<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/esoteroticist">But this door is always open.</a>
It takes both the sun and the rain to make a rainbow.
<a href="http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... 6806">This is not an exit.</a>
<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/esoteroticist">But this door is always open.</a>
Mom: I'm sorry that I still can't trust you. I do thank you for helping me get through this and not leaving me the hell alone. Thanx a lot (seriously) You may be driving me crazy but ur keeping me safe and sober.
Dad: Don't you worry about me? Care about me? You wouldn't even get up and see me b4 homecoming. My first event since I got out of the hospital. I've told you soooo many times how I need you to be there for me. I need to forget the past but when you shut me out it's all I have to remember
Aaron: I wish you understood me more. Thank you for always being there for me
Kelley: I'm sorry all of my shit has messed our relationship up. I hope one day we're a family again
Adam: Oh How I love you. Thank you for everything.
Dad: Don't you worry about me? Care about me? You wouldn't even get up and see me b4 homecoming. My first event since I got out of the hospital. I've told you soooo many times how I need you to be there for me. I need to forget the past but when you shut me out it's all I have to remember
Aaron: I wish you understood me more. Thank you for always being there for me
Kelley: I'm sorry all of my shit has messed our relationship up. I hope one day we're a family again
Adam: Oh How I love you. Thank you for everything.
Sepora~ You are so fuckin conceited!! You have everything yet you still want more and you think that everyone around you is attracted to you??? FUCK NO!! I cant believe you said "Everyone envies me, but they dont know how much I envy them"..... Who in the fuck envies you?? You act so damn stuck up that everyone wants to kill you! You're only 16, dont act like you're 31! And, treat Mom and Dad with respect! Just because they werent the parents you grew up to know, doesnt mean that they still arent your parents!! Treat the parents you have now with respect because they gave you everything!!! You have a damn car at the age of 17 and you travel every year, yet you act as if you dont get shit..... you are ungrateful, conceited, dramatic, and so much more.... Also, you have an education.... USE IT!! Dont act stupid! This is why I didnt hang out with you this summer.... because you act differently around other people!!
L~ Stop trying to compete with me. When I come to you when I'm crying, I dont want you to say.. "That's nothing... you've never been thrown down the stairs".. or whatever!! I just need a shoulder to cry on, like the one I've been giving you but still, you make it seem as if my problems are inferior to yours. And you lie so much!! You lied to Graf and you lied to me... I cant trust you anymore. You bug the shit out of me too.... be yourself for once!! I wish that you had moved away!!
Jordin,Julianne,Ashley~ You guyz are my best friends and I'm so sorry that I've never told you about my SI. It's just that, when I hang out with you guys, I dont want you to look at me differently. I want you to remember me for who I am, and not about my scars. And also, how could I tell you guyz when whenever I'm with you, I'm laughing my head off! I am soo happy that I have such great friends as you who could brighten up my day with one joke. Volleyball and Baskeball season was great and we will have so much more fun in the next years! We will always be friends!!
Nowell~ You made me soo mad. At first, we were the best of friends... then we became more... summer ended, and you changed. You started doing things that you would have never done in the past. Then, you tell me to deal with it because this is the new you?... no, no... I wont. I dont need to start worrying about the next time you were going to show up to school just because you wanted to smoke pot. I was the only girl who knew what you went through at home and knew how you felt... but you chose someone who was clueless to your feelings, and only saw you on the outside and used you. That's fine, but I want to let you know that I will always, always love you. You will always be my first love, but we're over....
Mom and Dad~ I'm sorry for breaking your heart and I'm sorry that I have never told you the truth and that you had to hear about it from a stranger. I love you guyz, but... what you put me and the rest of us through just isnt worth it anymore. I will always love you... but things are going to have to change at home. Please, just give me space...
Anni and Mern~ Thanks for always being there for me and always just being aware of my actions. You protected me and just knew me. I love you guyz and I will miss you next year. Anni, I wish you were still here because you always made me laugh and Mern, you always knew when something was up and you never gave up trying to figure out what it was. When I leave this year.... I will never forget the two teachers who would gang up on me, trying to figure out what I was doing and why. Thanks for caring when I thought nobody else did.
Stacia~ Thanks for being there for me bud!
Everyone~ Please... give me some space. I want to tell you all about how shitty my life has been in the past and how much I've suffered. I want to tell you that yeah, I did cut myself and that I'm not that perfect person you guyz all think that I am. I want you to know that I'm not okay when I say I am and I do want to be alone when you're next to me. But most of all, I want to thank my friends for loving me for who I am and always making me smile.
L~ Stop trying to compete with me. When I come to you when I'm crying, I dont want you to say.. "That's nothing... you've never been thrown down the stairs".. or whatever!! I just need a shoulder to cry on, like the one I've been giving you but still, you make it seem as if my problems are inferior to yours. And you lie so much!! You lied to Graf and you lied to me... I cant trust you anymore. You bug the shit out of me too.... be yourself for once!! I wish that you had moved away!!
Jordin,Julianne,Ashley~ You guyz are my best friends and I'm so sorry that I've never told you about my SI. It's just that, when I hang out with you guys, I dont want you to look at me differently. I want you to remember me for who I am, and not about my scars. And also, how could I tell you guyz when whenever I'm with you, I'm laughing my head off! I am soo happy that I have such great friends as you who could brighten up my day with one joke. Volleyball and Baskeball season was great and we will have so much more fun in the next years! We will always be friends!!
Nowell~ You made me soo mad. At first, we were the best of friends... then we became more... summer ended, and you changed. You started doing things that you would have never done in the past. Then, you tell me to deal with it because this is the new you?... no, no... I wont. I dont need to start worrying about the next time you were going to show up to school just because you wanted to smoke pot. I was the only girl who knew what you went through at home and knew how you felt... but you chose someone who was clueless to your feelings, and only saw you on the outside and used you. That's fine, but I want to let you know that I will always, always love you. You will always be my first love, but we're over....
Mom and Dad~ I'm sorry for breaking your heart and I'm sorry that I have never told you the truth and that you had to hear about it from a stranger. I love you guyz, but... what you put me and the rest of us through just isnt worth it anymore. I will always love you... but things are going to have to change at home. Please, just give me space...
Anni and Mern~ Thanks for always being there for me and always just being aware of my actions. You protected me and just knew me. I love you guyz and I will miss you next year. Anni, I wish you were still here because you always made me laugh and Mern, you always knew when something was up and you never gave up trying to figure out what it was. When I leave this year.... I will never forget the two teachers who would gang up on me, trying to figure out what I was doing and why. Thanks for caring when I thought nobody else did.
Stacia~ Thanks for being there for me bud!
Everyone~ Please... give me some space. I want to tell you all about how shitty my life has been in the past and how much I've suffered. I want to tell you that yeah, I did cut myself and that I'm not that perfect person you guyz all think that I am. I want you to know that I'm not okay when I say I am and I do want to be alone when you're next to me. But most of all, I want to thank my friends for loving me for who I am and always making me smile.
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