Dealing with insensitive people

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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truthserum
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Dealing with insensitive people

Post by truthserum » Fri Nov 12, 2004 3:58 pm

I was just wondering how everyone deals with insensitive people...or jerks, as I like to call them. I've run into many of them since I moved away to college. At times it's my roommate (who is one of my best friends from home) not thinking and talking to people about "ugly scars" or food/calories/weight right in front of me, and sometimes it's just random situations. This morning in my Social Problems class, my teacher started talking about cutting and how weird/stupid it is. Everyone was talking about how disgusting it was and asking why anyone would ever do something like that. I wanted to crawl under my desk and cry. I felt like such a fool. I know that they're just ignorant, but what can you do to feel better when you feel humiliated?
"Fires curl, shadows surge, a hollow sound that no one else can hear but me in silent streams. Forever more we dream." - Remy Zero, Shattered

houou
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Post by houou » Fri Nov 12, 2004 4:41 pm

i generally don't get too flustered by jerks. the world is full of them, and if you don't learn to ignore their stupid comments, you're going to feel frustrated, hurt, or embarrassed a lot.

but when it does get to me, i call a good friend and vent. i swear up a storm about how stupid humanity is, and i feel better. or try writing in a journal or a letter to the person who made you mad, telling them everything you wish you had said.

regarding your teacher, though, i'm appalled. you need to talk to him. don't tell you you si, but just let him know his comments were unneeded. say you have friends who si, and you see how much they hurt and how misunderstood si is, and he shouldn't contribute to the confusion.

good luck.
don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are. we are all just coping the best we know how.

Arcadia
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Post by Arcadia » Fri Nov 12, 2004 5:30 pm

lol, your tutor should not be teaching that class if they have such a biased, cruel opinion.
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fillerbunny41702
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Post by fillerbunny41702 » Fri Nov 12, 2004 8:07 pm

I'm sorry about your friend / roomie. Have you tried talking about it with her? I have a friend who knows about my SI. She'll crack SI-related jokes in public, and then turn to me (in front of everyone) and say "oh my god, I'm sorry, don't take that the wrong way!" (At which point I have to crack some equally stupid joke to keep everyone from picking up on what she's inferring.) I know she's trying, but it can still be really irritating at times.
houou wrote:regarding your teacher, though, i'm appalled. you need to talk to him. don't tell you you si, but just let him know his comments were unneeded. say you have friends who si, and you see how much they hurt and how misunderstood si is, and he shouldn't contribute to the confusion.
Absolutely. In person's the best, but if you're not comfortable with that, I'd send an anonymous email or something.

If this guy's teaching a class about social problems, he should at least take the time to educate himself before he starts spouting off like that.

IMO, ignorance is a far more disturbing social problem than SI is.

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