*SI*Obsession?
- XclippedXwingsX
- bus addict
- Posts: 2804
- Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2004 11:11 pm
- Location: Sandusky, Ohio, USA
- Contact:
I can relate. But I really don't wanna go into details about it since if I write about it it may trigger me. But I do relate to it.
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<center>
No Flaws When You're Pretending
SHACA Member Cody
*I Am A Jesus Freak*
Please do NOT hug me
I Have Recovered
</center>
No Flaws When You're Pretending
SHACA Member Cody
*I Am A Jesus Freak*
Please do NOT hug me
I Have Recovered
</center>
- aimee929
- meeting the neighbors
- Posts: 346
- Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 11:59 pm
- Location: Virginia, land of hellish memories that I call home
- Contact:
addicting-- possible SI trigger
I have been doing SI for almost 5 years... how often I do it really depends. Sometimes it's every night, sometimes it's once every few weeks. I have managed to be SI-free for almost 3 months now. My doctor is really proud of me.
The hard part, though, is that when I get depressed & immediately want to SI, it's like those 3 months (or however long it's been) mean nothing. They go away in an instant. SI is so addicting. It's like a drug. Like someone who posted earlier, it isn't the blood that does it for me. It's the pain... i need to feel something. I only have one bad scar & while I don't like people to see it (because I don't want to explain it), I am proud of it.
Anyway, I was put on Wellbutrin a couple of months ago b/c it is supposed to help with compulsive behaviors. My SI was getting a little out of control last winter & I was almost put inthe hospital b/c of it. But I managed to avoid that.
it's hard to explain how sometimes I will get so depressed, but not even think of SI. And other times, the littlest thing will happen,a nd I pull out my knife. I don't understand it. But I really do think it's an addiction, and I don't think I'm at the point where I'm ready to give it up yet-- but i want ot eventually. Of all the things I've done since being diagnosed with depression & an anxiety disorder almost 5 years ago, SI is the one I am most ashamed of, the one I most regret.
take care,
Aimee
The hard part, though, is that when I get depressed & immediately want to SI, it's like those 3 months (or however long it's been) mean nothing. They go away in an instant. SI is so addicting. It's like a drug. Like someone who posted earlier, it isn't the blood that does it for me. It's the pain... i need to feel something. I only have one bad scar & while I don't like people to see it (because I don't want to explain it), I am proud of it.
Anyway, I was put on Wellbutrin a couple of months ago b/c it is supposed to help with compulsive behaviors. My SI was getting a little out of control last winter & I was almost put inthe hospital b/c of it. But I managed to avoid that.
it's hard to explain how sometimes I will get so depressed, but not even think of SI. And other times, the littlest thing will happen,a nd I pull out my knife. I don't understand it. But I really do think it's an addiction, and I don't think I'm at the point where I'm ready to give it up yet-- but i want ot eventually. Of all the things I've done since being diagnosed with depression & an anxiety disorder almost 5 years ago, SI is the one I am most ashamed of, the one I most regret.
take care,
Aimee
"I don't have a love life. I have a like life." --Lorrie Moore, my favorite living writer
"The purpose of art is to hold a mirror up to the audience's noses and say: This is who you are... now change." --writer Edward Albee
"I have something to prove, as long as I know there's something that needs improvement, and you know that every time I move, I make a woman's movement." --singer Ani DiFranco
"The purpose of art is to hold a mirror up to the audience's noses and say: This is who you are... now change." --writer Edward Albee
"I have something to prove, as long as I know there's something that needs improvement, and you know that every time I move, I make a woman's movement." --singer Ani DiFranco
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