*SI*Obsession?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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ninda
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Post by ninda » Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:31 am

I have dreams about it that are soooooooo real. And that feeds my craving. :( unfortunitly i have no self control. I am hoping to change that though

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XclippedXwingsX
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Post by XclippedXwingsX » Sat Oct 23, 2004 11:24 pm

I can relate. But I really don't wanna go into details about it since if I write about it it may trigger me. But I do relate to it.

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aimee929
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addicting-- possible SI trigger

Post by aimee929 » Tue Oct 26, 2004 1:34 am

I have been doing SI for almost 5 years... how often I do it really depends. Sometimes it's every night, sometimes it's once every few weeks. I have managed to be SI-free for almost 3 months now. My doctor is really proud of me. :)

The hard part, though, is that when I get depressed & immediately want to SI, it's like those 3 months (or however long it's been) mean nothing. They go away in an instant. SI is so addicting. It's like a drug. Like someone who posted earlier, it isn't the blood that does it for me. It's the pain... i need to feel something. I only have one bad scar & while I don't like people to see it (because I don't want to explain it), I am proud of it.

Anyway, I was put on Wellbutrin a couple of months ago b/c it is supposed to help with compulsive behaviors. My SI was getting a little out of control last winter & I was almost put inthe hospital b/c of it. But I managed to avoid that.

it's hard to explain how sometimes I will get so depressed, but not even think of SI. And other times, the littlest thing will happen,a nd I pull out my knife. I don't understand it. But I really do think it's an addiction, and I don't think I'm at the point where I'm ready to give it up yet-- but i want ot eventually. Of all the things I've done since being diagnosed with depression & an anxiety disorder almost 5 years ago, SI is the one I am most ashamed of, the one I most regret. :cry:

take care,
Aimee


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Jtcg
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Post by Jtcg » Tue Oct 26, 2004 2:13 pm

It is odd isn't it? There are times when i am not even really upset or depressed...i just can't let go of the images...the urge...

and other times i am so depressed i can't function and It doesn't even occur to me...
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