Post
by aimee929 » Wed Oct 27, 2004 4:51 am
My depression first showed its face in November 1999-- almost 5 years ago-- and 2 months later, in Jan 2000, I tried to kill myself. Ever since,t he hardest months of the year for me have been from October to March. Things usually start to go downhill after my bday, which is late in September. I don't know why, but I just started getting moody and I cry a lot. Gradually, it usually gets worse and worse. December and January are usually the worst. last winter I wasn't really suicidal, but I was SI a lot, and almost got put in the hospital because of it. It was terrible. I also had a panic attack last January-- my first in 2 years.
My doctor thought it was SAD at first, but apparently my history doesn't really make a case for it. Because I do often get depressed in summer too, and I have been suicidal in warmer months before. But winter is always the worst.
I hate it b/c I love winter and the cold weather... but I have grown to hate the holidays, knowing how hard it is to get through them. I try not to be morbid and pessimistic about it all, but it's hard. I fight it, and still the depression and the SI seem to start up again and get almost unbearable (I have been SI free for almost 3 months).
Anyway, I am sorry others also suffer in the winter, but i am not that surprised.
take care,
Aimee
"I don't have a love life. I have a like life." --Lorrie Moore, my favorite living writer
"The purpose of art is to hold a mirror up to the audience's noses and say: This is who you are... now change." --writer Edward Albee
"I have something to prove, as long as I know there's something that needs improvement, and you know that every time I move, I make a woman's movement." --singer Ani DiFranco