its really hard.
we've had to make a contract that no kids (under 16) do the driving, as that's gotten me in trouble before.
my family doesn't know either, but thank goodness, i live half the country away from them, so that makes it easier to keep it a secret. it is still very hard at family gatherings and such.
i journal a lot.
i write e mails to my therapist on days when I'm not seeing her, if i need to.
i run a website for people with DID:
http://s3.invisionfree.com/A_Minds_Journey/index.php
make sure the kids have time to play every day, even if its just for a few minutes, doing something they like (coloring, playing with the dogs, exploring outside, swinging)
i do a lot of artwork to express myself/ves
hope this helps some. you're not alone.