last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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jaded melody
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Post by jaded melody » Wed Aug 25, 2004 12:10 pm

Yesterday when i wanted to but didnt i wrote all over my arms and stomach in black pen and wrote some stuff down to vent some of the feelings, then, FRIDGE POETRY! seriously it rocks. You know those packets of magnets with words on them that you stick on your fridge and make poetry or sentences with? That stuff.

They give you the words, so its not really like writing poetry its like a word game, but you can make sentences and poems that mean something to you too. I highly reccomend it. It distracted me for ages and i felt better afterwards.

Melody xxx
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twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
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Post by amyfairy » Wed Aug 25, 2004 1:04 pm

I had no energy left, completely drained, so I went to sleep :) I agree, sleep is always good :wink:

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Post by amyfairy » Wed Aug 25, 2004 3:05 pm

Talking to someone on msn.

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Post by jaded melody » Wed Aug 25, 2004 3:07 pm

Listened to The Vines real loud
Melody xxx
"Between two worlds life hovers like a star,
twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge."
- Lord Byron

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Post by crash » Wed Aug 25, 2004 3:58 pm

I didn't because I end up hating myself the next day and I am scared it will go too far.
So, I cried for awhile which made me feel better. Then, I did some reading and went to bed and let my bf hold me. :1cat:

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Post by kazeldya » Wed Aug 25, 2004 9:21 pm

Because I stayed in bed. I wasn't that tired anymore and really wanted to get up and do it, but today made 3 weeks, and I didn't want to start over. Wanting to SI was like when I'm not tired and feel like I should get up and do homework or something instead of staying in bed... it's hard to explain, but I thought over it a lot, and the resistance was almost like the negative thing. I had to convince myself not to, even though when I'm angry or something and can't sleep, I want to get up and write about it or SI or something. Plus today was the first day of school, and I figured I'd sleep more if I stayed in bed.

Still didn't get to sleep for a while, but I'm glad I didn't do it.

:1_week_si_free:
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*almost* SI-free (7 slips) since August 26/27, 2004 (~2 am on 27th) my place: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... sc&start=0

last slip: about 10pm March 25, 2008

After changes upon changes, we are more or less the same. - Paul Simon
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and SAFELY insane every night of our lives. - William Dement. So I guess we should just sleep and be insane THEN instead of hurting ourselves (or anyone else)

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Post by tenar » Wed Aug 25, 2004 9:22 pm

Jaded_Melody wrote: They give you the words, so its not really like writing poetry its like a word game, but you can make sentences and poems that mean something to you too. I highly reccomend it. It distracted me for ages and i felt better afterwards.
i did that a few times. somehow working out feelings with fridge poetry is way easier, and because words are limited i felt less powerles because i couldnt' find the exact words. though beware - one time i did it was at a party - fine until the morning and someone started asking questions about all the 'weird stuff on the fridge'

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Post by soulstory » Thu Aug 26, 2004 7:01 am

I put it off for a few minutes... and then again... and again... and again. Umm, I'm still doing that. 8)
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
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Post by anna » Thu Aug 26, 2004 8:39 am

*ED*

I don't know if it counts, but last night I both came here, and had a drink.

That isn't my usual method of putting it off. Normally I'll (over)eat, catch up on friends online journals, or surf photography sites.

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Post by Firinn Annam » Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:19 pm

i've made a bag (patchhwork so it would take longer), Made two tangtops tonight and am on this board now. Caught up on my uni work becaquse that is part of the reason i wanted to...
"Life is another day in life. Life is like a book. A book has 6 sides, inside and outside. So how do you get what's inside out?" - GIA

"I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS..." - One Perfect Day

Last SI'd 12.1.03

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Post by limestone » Fri Aug 27, 2004 8:09 am

didn't because I played loud music.

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Post by caterpillargirl » Tue Aug 31, 2004 1:17 am

i didn't because i didn't really have much of a valid reason for the trigger and i didn't much feel like explaining to my boyfriend that i had cut for no good reason :-?

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Post by Firinn Annam » Tue Aug 31, 2004 7:36 am

I'm on my way to the pub now, but i havent SI'd to my urges today because i am scared how far i will go... I have been free for quite a while now and am scared the urges will all build up to one big session and i wont know when to stop... so i tell myself not to start
"Life is another day in life. Life is like a book. A book has 6 sides, inside and outside. So how do you get what's inside out?" - GIA

"I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS..." - One Perfect Day

Last SI'd 12.1.03

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Post by pretty » Tue Aug 31, 2004 2:31 pm

I held on, and it passed.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

place

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Post by Mea Culpa » Tue Aug 31, 2004 3:53 pm

Last night I didn't si!
I remained dressed from work -- long sleeve sweater, trousers, and stockings! That was the first step. If I don't see my skin, I don't think of scarring it...
I was having a massive anxiety attack and wanted nothing more than to sit alone and "calm my mind" as I like to call it... But I simply could not sit down. I ended up moving every piece of furniture in my house, except for my iron bed (although I probably would have if I could have done it by myself). I moved couches from one room to another, armoires, TVs, radios; you name it, I moved it. I also hung new art. I liked the hammering!! :scatter:
So, that's my story -- Who knows what I'll do tonight....anyone need a superhuman redhead to move their furniture??
oxox, mac
Some nights, although we are faithless, the truth
enters our hearts, that small familiar pain;
then a man will stand stock-still, hearing his youth
in the distant Latin chanting of a train.
--Carol Ann Duffy

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sam 89
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Post by sam 89 » Thu Sep 02, 2004 12:16 am

...I'm trying to make it until September 6th (which will be a month) without hurting myself.

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Post by pretty » Thu Sep 02, 2004 5:25 pm

Because after a month free, I know I don't need to.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

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Post by AngelWithTheScabbedWings » Fri Sep 03, 2004 6:58 am

last time i wanted to cut and didnt was today... i was tempted to... then i listened to the song "hurt" by johnny cash... its an amazing song.. if you havent heard it i highly reccomend it...

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Post by mywildrainbow » Sun Sep 05, 2004 4:51 am

basically, the real reason is that I didn't have anything to cut with. I went to the store though, even picked up the razor blades, but I didn't buy any!
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" -Anais Nin

"Loneliness. It's a thing, you know, not a feeling. A big, ugly thing that moves in and takes over until you forget how to live with it, but you can't live without it either" -M.B. Miller

*mwr's deliberately random poetry* http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97247

where the wild things are http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=113478

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Post by Chessie » Mon Sep 06, 2004 8:28 am

I didn't because I've quit SI and I don't want to go back to using it as a way to cope. I know I can get by using healthier ways to cope. Plus, I want to stand up the evil pdoc who once told me I'd never quit SIing.

-chessie
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