tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.
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nirvana
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by nirvana » Fri Aug 20, 2004 4:25 am
does anyone have any tips on how to cope with the death of a close friend or relative?
it's been two months since my grandfather died. and i'm sitting here trying not to cry because of it. i feel like it's been long enough and i should be better now. not 'over it', but better. but i don't feel that way. people have told me to remember the good times, but i can't. i just feel empty, and all i can think about was how he was here and now he's not, and i'll never see him again.
and it hurts a lot.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.
[safe since february 2005.]
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ben
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by ben » Fri Aug 20, 2004 1:28 pm
the grieving/mourning process is never very clear or linear -
it's all peaks and troughs and up & downs.
It's perfectly natural to have things pop up from time to time.
Just let the emotions occur, acknowledge them for what they are,
and carry on.
It gets easier with time.
Peace
ben
"Knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in night.Looked at sky through smoke heavy with human fat and god was not there.The cold,suffocating dark goes on forever,and we are alone.Live our lives, lacking anything better to do.Devise reason later.Born from oblivion;bear children,hellbound as ourselves;go into oblivion.There is nothing else.Existence is random.Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long.No meaning save what we choose to impose."
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Laura
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by Laura » Fri Aug 20, 2004 1:39 pm
There are no rules about grieving, everyone's different every time. 2 months isn't very long anyway - it will get easier. But as Ben said, there are ups and downs, sometimes I think of people who died several years ago and can get tearful all over again. Remembering the good times does help, but I totally agree that sometimes you just can't see past the bare fact that they're gone.
It's hard, it really is. If you feel like crying, do allow yourself to, there's nothing wrong in that.
Take care
Love Laura
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theodore
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by theodore » Sat Aug 21, 2004 2:37 pm
ditto to what the others have said
my friends died just a month ago...i cried, but that was it..i still think of him, but he's gone and i can't change that.
my auntie died on thursday....i didn't even cry...does that make me a bad person?? no..i just cope differently.
some people cry for years, some don't
undoubtedly you will think of the person, but thats only natural.
hope that made some sense..
take care of YOU
theodore
everybody hurts
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"You should make amends with you.
If only for better health.
But if you really want to live,
why not try and make yourself?
Make yourself" Make yourself - Incubus
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blink182
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by blink182 » Wed Aug 25, 2004 2:21 pm
it does get easier with time.....my mum died 6yr ago....the best thing 2 do is just think of all the happy memories u have of them
if u ever feel the need 2 talk or whatever either PM me or if u have msn add me and ill always b there my addy is
blink182rock132@hotmail.com
loadsa love x blink x
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soulstory
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by soulstory » Thu Aug 26, 2004 4:24 am
I agree that grief is a bit of an up and down process. My dad died last year and sometimes I feel like I've dealt with it and moved on and many times I feel a wide array of different emotions relating to it. I just try to remember that whatever I'm feeling won't be the way I'm feeling forever... that sometimes gets me through the most difficult moments.
Catherine
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
~ Douglas Adams
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limestone
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by limestone » Thu Aug 26, 2004 9:41 am
nirvana wrote:does anyone have any tips on how to cope with the death of a close friend or relative?
it's been two months since my grandfather died. and i'm sitting here trying not to cry because of it. i feel like it's been long enough and i should be better now. not 'over it', but better. but i don't feel that way. people have told me to remember the good times, but i can't. i just feel empty, and all i can think about was how he was here and now he's not, and i'll never see him again.
and it hurts a lot.
hi
where you are now it sounds a painful place to be in
what do you imagine feeling better about it would look like i.e. how would you feell and what would you be doing? Then, how realistic is that in view of how you're feeling now? It sounds to me from what you wrote that you've got expectations of how you should feel and be right now. Do you have people irl who you can talk to?
take care,
