coping with death of friends/relatives?

nirvana · Post by **nirvana** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 4:25 am

does anyone have any tips on how to cope with the death of a close friend or relative?

it's been two months since my grandfather died. and i'm sitting here trying not to cry because of it. i feel like it's been long enough and i should be better now. not 'over it', but better. but i don't feel that way. people have told me to remember the good times, but i can't. i just feel empty, and all i can think about was how he was here and now he's not, and i'll never see him again.

and it hurts a lot.

ben · Post by **ben** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 1:28 pm

the grieving/mourning process is never very clear or linear -
it's all peaks and troughs and up & downs.

It's perfectly natural to have things pop up from time to time.

Just let the emotions occur, acknowledge them for what they are,
and carry on.

It gets easier with time.

Peace
ben

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 1:39 pm

There are no rules about grieving, everyone's different every time. 2 months isn't very long anyway - it will get easier. But as Ben said, there are ups and downs, sometimes I think of people who died several years ago and can get tearful all over again. Remembering the good times does help, but I totally agree that sometimes you just can't see past the bare fact that they're gone.

It's hard, it really is. If you feel like crying, do allow yourself to, there's nothing wrong in that.

Take care
Love Laura

<--- if ok

theodore · Post by **theodore** » Sat Aug 21, 2004 2:37 pm

ditto to what the others have said

my friends died just a month ago...i cried, but that was it..i still think of him, but he's gone and i can't change that.

my auntie died on thursday....i didn't even cry...does that make me a bad person?? no..i just cope differently.

some people cry for years, some don't

undoubtedly you will think of the person, but thats only natural.

hope that made some sense..

take care of YOU

theodore

blink182 · Post by **blink182** » Wed Aug 25, 2004 2:21 pm

it does get easier with time.....my mum died 6yr ago....the best thing 2 do is just think of all the happy memories u have of them

if u ever feel the need 2 talk or whatever either PM me or if u have msn add me and ill always b there my addy is blink182rock132@hotmail.com

loadsa love x blink x

soulstory · Post by **soulstory** » Thu Aug 26, 2004 4:24 am

I agree that grief is a bit of an up and down process. My dad died last year and sometimes I feel like I've dealt with it and moved on and many times I feel a wide array of different emotions relating to it. I just try to remember that whatever I'm feeling won't be the way I'm feeling forever... that sometimes gets me through the most difficult moments.

Catherine

limestone · Post by **limestone** » Thu Aug 26, 2004 9:41 am

nirvana wrote:does anyone have any tips on how to cope with the death of a close friend or relative?

it's been two months since my grandfather died. and i'm sitting here trying not to cry because of it. i feel like it's been long enough and i should be better now. not 'over it', but better. but i don't feel that way. people have told me to remember the good times, but i can't. i just feel empty, and all i can think about was how he was here and now he's not, and i'll never see him again.

and it hurts a lot.

hi

where you are now it sounds a painful place to be in

what do you imagine feeling better about it would look like i.e. how would you feell and what would you be doing? Then, how realistic is that in view of how you're feeling now? It sounds to me from what you wrote that you've got expectations of how you should feel and be right now. Do you have people irl who you can talk to?

take care,

bus

coping with death of friends/relatives?

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