last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

nisi · Post by **nisi** » Thu Aug 12, 2004 3:27 pm

I was sleepy

Nisi

Vocifer · Post by **Vocifer** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 1:18 am

I stood next to my friend's desk and jumped up and down!

swanfaerie · Post by **swanfaerie** » Fri Aug 13, 2004 10:00 am

cuz i stayed on bus til the urge passed, then i started watching stupid tv that comes on at 1 a.m.

plus my kids are in the house and i don't wanna break my rule about that again.

Stellaria · Post by **Stellaria** » Sun Aug 15, 2004 7:11 am

I decided I did not want to risk put myself back in the hospital, now that I just got out of there. Since I don't trust myself to "do just a little bit", I didn't do any at all, but wrote some of my thoughts down in words instead.

Neko · Post by **Neko** » Mon Aug 16, 2004 3:50 am

i realized i wasn't at fault and i wasn't going to let someone affect me so that i would have to

Junebug44 · Post by **Junebug44** » Mon Aug 16, 2004 9:13 am

I couldn't stand the thought of having to try to explain
to my family/friends/employer what happened. (Sigh.)

-Junebug

tinysadconfuzzled · Post by **tinysadconfuzzled** » Tue Aug 17, 2004 5:27 pm

There have been sooo many times I have wanted to SI in the last 6 months but didn't for one reason- the possibility of scars. i have an eating disorder and body dismorphic disorder, and it's very strange how the things that make me SI are the things that also cause me not to alot of the time. Has anyone else found this to be the case?

Hugs, TSC(first post since I left for vacation by the way, I'm back now!!)

kazeldya · Post by **kazeldya** » Tue Aug 17, 2004 6:12 pm

tinysadconfuzzled wrote:There have been sooo many times I have wanted to SI in the last 6 months but didn't for one reason- the possibility of scars. i have an eating disorder and body dismorphic disorder, and it's very strange how the things that make me SI are the things that also cause me not to alot of the time. Has anyone else found this to be the case?

Hugs, TSC(first post since I left for vacation by the way, I'm back now!!)

Yes, for me some of my triggers also cause me not to, like seeing my scar. Sometimes seeing my scar reminds me that I made it and other people might see it and makes me want to never SI again, but sometimes I see it and know I made it and want to do it again, to change the appearance of it. Does that make sense?

caterpillargirl · Post by **caterpillargirl** » Tue Aug 17, 2004 6:23 pm

... because the last time i *did* self harm it upset my bf so much that he cried. and i don't want to hurt anyone else but *me* through my actions.

scilenceisgolden · Post by **scilenceisgolden** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:58 am

procrastonating, walking, music(I won't cut if there is music on, it makes me feel really guilty) tv... most recently I lost my razor and I didn't know there was more downstairs, too lazy to do anything else...

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:43 pm

I didn’t because I occupied myself and decided to tidy my room instead…which was a mission

angelclown · Post by **angelclown** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:31 am

last time I wanted to SI and stopped myself...

well the second last time that happened it was a couple of weeks before my prom, and I was wearing a black halterneck dress. With no sleeves whatsoever. And I didn't want everyone to see the scars.

the last time I wanted to SI and didn't was because I couldn't find the energy. I basically just curled up into a ball on my bed and fell asleep.

kazeldya · Post by **kazeldya** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 1:34 am

angelclown wrote:last time I wanted to SI and stopped myself...

well the second last time that happened it was a couple of weeks before my prom, and I was wearing a black halterneck dress. With no sleeves whatsoever. And I didn't want everyone to see the scars.

the last time I wanted to SI and didn't was because I couldn't find the energy. I basically just curled up into a ball on my bed and fell asleep.

Right now, I WANT to because I'm so tired, but I'm trying to convince myself it's not worth it. Maybe I'll just go to sleep even though it's not even 9 pm.

angelclown · Post by **angelclown** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 2:01 am

kazeldya wrote: Right now, I WANT to because I'm so tired, but I'm trying to convince myself it's not worth it. Maybe I'll just go to sleep even though it's not even 9 pm.

*HUG* Sleep is good.

kazeldya · Post by **kazeldya** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 5:41 am

angelclown wrote:
kazeldya wrote: Right now, I WANT to because I'm so tired, but I'm trying to convince myself it's not worth it. Maybe I'll just go to sleep even though it's not even 9 pm.
*HUG* Sleep is good.

indeed it is. hopefully I can go back to sleep soon enough... i
m pretty wide awake after 2 hours or so of sleep, but that won't last me a night.

Reflections · Post by **Reflections** » Thu Aug 19, 2004 7:05 am

because i didn't want to hurt / upset / worry my boyfriend who would inevitably find out.

because i knew i didn't have to do it, i had a choice.

8586 · Post by **8586** » Fri Aug 20, 2004 4:24 pm

Because I felt too hopeless to get more tools (I threw the last ones out)...

And because instead I just ended up crying until I finally fell asleep...

Maybe not that great, but it did work.

swanfaerie · Post by **swanfaerie** » Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:11 am

cuz i want another tattoo and if i si, then i can't get it. and, once again my kids were awake.

always · Post by **always** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 4:19 am

I don't want to hurt my boyfriend... I have so many times in the past... and especially recently I've really seen how much he cares... I can't hurt him... he means too much to me... ... rather than si, I write, work on my portfolio... or clean my room [

yeah, that one actually works sometimes...]

swanfaerie · Post by **swanfaerie** » Wed Aug 25, 2004 9:49 am

cuz 1st time today i called a friend and talked about it.

2nd time i was at work and it woulda been way uncool to si there. plus i ended up playing w/the baby and her toys and the urge passed.

now i'm urgy but i'm just too tired.

bus

last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

Last time

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