last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

kazeldya · Post by **kazeldya** » Thu Jul 29, 2004 8:39 am

because i left the door to the bathroom cracked and the cats opened it halfway and because there were two people in the apt sleeping and one awake (who happens to be one of only 3 people who know i SI... she was on the phone with another) and because i'd just posted on here about how i wanted to and also didn't want to. she's gone now, so the only people left here are asleep, which makes it harder, and I haven't gone to bed yet... he did invite me over to play video games and spend the night, but i happen to know that her birthday present for him includes wake up sex before she goes to work in the morning, and i really don't need to be there, even i can't hear it, because i know i'd think about it... and i doubt they'd want me there... though i probably should have. but now i should just take off my contacts, go to bed, and nothing else... contacts off. done. bedtime.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Sat Jul 31, 2004 3:05 pm

...because despite how it may feel at times, I don't want to anymore.

fireflower · Post by **fireflower** » Sun Aug 01, 2004 8:59 pm

I was doing good and didn't want to break my 2 weeks of being si free. Since it's hard to just even go one day without it.

sam_girl · Post by **sam_girl** » Sun Aug 01, 2004 10:17 pm

cos i thought that if i didn't do it badly enough then the dr wouldn't take me seriously the next day

so i held on and didn't do it at all. thats not rite really is it?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

skru dup kid · Post by **skru dup kid** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 2:32 am

'cause honestly, I didn't think I needed to. And I was too lazy to, anyway.

alegria · Post by **alegria** » Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:52 am

cuz i didn't have a good reason to:(

missmollysue · Post by **missmollysue** » Tue Aug 03, 2004 12:19 am

I didnt because there was to many people around and I had nothing with me at the time.

kazeldya · Post by **kazeldya** » Tue Aug 03, 2004 4:53 pm

sam_girl wrote:cos i thought that if i didn't do it badly enough then the dr wouldn't take me seriously the next day so i held on and didn't do it at all. thats not rite really is it?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So you thought he/she wouldn't take you seriously if you did or didn't SI?

lisslalissar · Post by **lisslalissar** » Thu Aug 05, 2004 6:11 am

Because I went for a drive instead.

*lisslalissar*

green chameleon · Post by **green chameleon** » Fri Aug 06, 2004 11:38 pm

I went and curled up in my husband's lap until I fell asleep

Say no · Post by **Say no** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 2:01 am

i wrote in a notebook exactly what i was feeling at the time most of it was just me basically yelling in my notebook. It wasn't organized at all just as i thougth of things i wrote them down untill i calmed down.

Proximity · Post by **Proximity** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 7:10 am

I said "this will pass" and it did.

prox.

[fiery furnaces]

sam_girl · Post by **sam_girl** » Sat Aug 07, 2004 6:09 pm

kazeldya wrote:
sam_girl wrote:cos i thought that if i didn't do it badly enough then the dr wouldn't take me seriously the next day so i held on and didn't do it at all. thats not rite really is it?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So you thought he/she wouldn't take you seriously if you did or didn't SI?

i thought if i didn't SI badly enough (e.g. gave myself a small cut) then my doctor wouldn't think i was 'serious' and so ignore my problems. he did that anyway tho

im sorry, jst read that back and it sounds awful doesn't it?

duchess_of_Nothing · Post by **duchess_of_Nothing** » Sun Aug 08, 2004 2:32 am

Sometimes I don't do it because I feel like it's not enough and I don't want to lose control and go too deep. Sometimes I hit myself instead because I can freak out and not cause any serious damage.

FarSideGirl · Post by **FarSideGirl** » Sun Aug 08, 2004 6:51 pm

It's basically one bad for another. Instead of cutting, I decided to go to the fridge and eat a ton of food. I am alone in the house during the day so it is easy for me to pig out and it takes my mind off SI. Doesnt do wonders the ED though I suppose

tenar · Post by **tenar** » Sun Aug 08, 2004 7:03 pm

- because i posted on the main board and people replied
- because i knew it wouldn't really solve anything in the long term
- becaues i knew the reason i wanted it would sound mad to any half-sane person

kazeldya · Post by **kazeldya** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:45 am

I'm sorry your doctor ignores your problems (or that you feel that way). I hate that feeling.

sam_girl wrote:
kazeldya wrote:
sam_girl wrote:cos i thought that if i didn't do it badly enough then the dr wouldn't take me seriously the next day so i held on and didn't do it at all. thats not rite really is it?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So you thought he/she wouldn't take you seriously if you did or didn't SI?
i thought if i didn't SI badly enough (e.g. gave myself a small cut) then my doctor wouldn't think i was 'serious' and so ignore my problems. he did that anyway tho im sorry, jst read that back and it sounds awful doesn't it?

athousandmiles · Post by **athousandmiles** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:09 am

I scratched my nails down my wrists and reminded myself I didn't want my boyfriend to see the scars and worry about me.

erinmv · Post by **erinmv** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 9:46 pm

I didn't want it to win.

sam_girl · Post by **sam_girl** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 10:28 pm

^^^^gd answer

bus

last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

no si

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