bus

If I do my girlfriend will insist on taking me to A&E when she gets home from work, and I don't want to sit in A&E all night or worse have to talk to the Crisis Team.

comments/hugs are okay how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? If I SI I will relieve some of the tension that is building up in my head, and I will feel calmer. what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? It will bring complication...

I am proud of myself today because I tidied my room.

* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? If I hurt myself I will feel pain instead of just numbness. I will feel that I have achieved something in having the strength to bring physical injury to myself. I will feel in control of myself instead of out of control with all these f...

Mum: SHUT UP RIGHT NOW PLEASE.

Brain Stew - Green Day <b>I'm having trouble trying to sleep</b> I'm counting sheep but running out As time ticks by still I try No rest for crosstops in my mind <b>On my own... here we go</b> My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed Dried up and bulging out my skull <b>My mouth is dry My face is numb ...

*curls up in a ball in the corner and cries quietly*

I don't think it will work out. I hope it will, but you're over 7000 miles away and I don't think it will. And part of me is glad, because when you leave I can die without guilt.

I've stopped cutting. I've started burning. I'm thinking of taking up smoking just so I will have an excuse to carry a lighter. I really, really wish I had locked the door. I wanted to do it so badly, I don't have the courage. I wish with all my heart that I did. I'm tired and I want to go now, I w...

anxious

b - for the love of G-d PLEASE listen to me when I tell you what not to say. If you say you're going to be there for me you have to at least not say anything to make it worse. If you don't know what to say, don't feel you have to say anything. Just please don't say hurtful things that undermine me a...

Mum - I'm sorry, it's not funny. I won't try to motivate you by putting you down anymore. I will respect you as a person in your own right, I won't try to live through you. I <i>honestly</i> don't care what your grades are, they don't make you any less of a person. I am getting a divorce. I will nev...

Mum - I stopped going to kickboxing because of my scars. not because I'm a worthless lazy sack of crap as you seem to think. I'm sick of hearing how I do nothing for you, how I never help around the house, how I don't study in school (you won't even believe I go to school half the time - I've never ...

I want to be a ballerina.
I want to be a gymnast.
I want to be a cheerleader.
I am insanely jealous of my friends who have done these things. I sometimes wonder if I was a ballerina and thin and pretty if I would still want to transition.

<b><u>Worry Rock - Green Day</u></b> <b>Another sentimental argument and bitter love</b> Fucked without a kiss again and dragged it through the mud <b>Yelling at brick walls and punching windows made of stone</b> The worry rock has turned to dust and fallen on our pride A knocked down dragged out fi...

My friends think I've stopped SI. They don't know about hitting myself or purging or restricting my eating.

Sometimes I think I deserve everything my mum did to me. She's a saint and I am a horrible worthless person. Sometimes I hate her and then I feel guilty, so I can't win.

my dippy-speaking friends (you know who you are )
laptop
mobile phone
CDs
my guitar

I'm terrified I'm falling again, but I won't admit it to myself because they'll just tell me to go back into therapy, although I don't want to and it isn't helpful.