bus

i cant stop od'ing

i dunno how im gonna make it through christmas/new yr without totally self-destructing


PMs are fine

why do i want to cut my arms?

pms ok

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i know i how i would kill myself. it wouldnt look like i had done it myself. it would look like an accident. like i didnt want to die. i wouldnt actually do it... but still.



END

PMs are fine.

i've been working through the bullying issues with my counsellor. we spent a session talking about it and it hasn't eben brought up since, which im kind of glad about because it was really, really hard, and really shameful to talk about and tell her about what happened -- even when i was talking to ...

i dont know what to do. i serously do not know what the hell to do.

i dont want you to move to london. you just left my house, and you didnt even say goodbye.

want to tell someone whats going on in my head, and has been going on for a while, but im scared that if i tell someone, i'll be sent ip, because i cannot look after myself and i cannot control myself and im a danger to myself and everyone else around me i miss you. i MISS you. i miss YOU. I saw yo...

i think im suicidal. but im not sure.
it's been so long since i felt like that, i dont remember what it feels like now.

i'm not going to college tomorrow, because i cant cope with it, not because im ill. i dont like the counselling, because i cant deal with having to deal with stuff and admitting that it happened and that its real. As long as i keep telling myself it didnt happen, it'll be fine. I couldnt talk about ...

i'm really ANNOYED that you didnt text me back.

i od'd again today.

I dont like you. You dont help me. I dont wanna play with fucking buttons and play-doh. it doesnt work. I spend most of the listening to YOU talk. you never give me the chance to talk.

but the thought of not seeing you for 2 weeks fucking terrifies me.

PMs wanted.

everyones leaving me

I'm doing well at college. I'm getting full marks on tests. In law I got an A for an essay, and in psychology i got a B on my end of unit exam: the highest in the class.
Things are geting so much better

LANG STOP GOING IN MY FUCKIGN BEDROOM! If i want my blinds open, i will open the bloody tihngs myself. I HATE eatign in front of you, because i think you're passing judgements all the time, and yesterday just proved it, didnt it? So now, its tea time. You ring up and ask me if i've eaten. Have i? No...

i never stopped self-harming. I just stopped cutting.

I will never take as many as i did that day ever again. I took them before college, had to leave college early because i kept wanting to throw up, but i couldnt. I was shaking so much I couldnt stand up. I was so dizzy i felt like i was gonna faint, even when i was sat down. I didnt tell anyone, but...

little pixie dust wrote:ahh...i had a really crappy day with bullies today

why am i so weak and let it get to me so badly..

"on the outside I may be hated, but on the inside I am loved"

havent written here for a bit, have i? Ever since i started dragging the past back up i havent been feeling to great. I mean, some people can remember stuff and they can cope with it, they can get over it, and they can move on. Im struggling with the "getting over it and moving on part". I guess rea...

today when i was at work i went into the toilets and i stuck my secrets in the cubical.

it was so empowering.

PMs are okay

its been over two years, and i've only just realised you are not coming back