bus

i wish my depression and moodswings will go away i wish i could find a medication that would work i wish my parents loved me and cared for me emotionally i wish i could erase all the abusive memories i wish i could love myself for who i am i wish i could see my first therapist, who idealized as the ...

suicidal
hopeless
depressed
regurgitating

viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=320 (my PLACE)

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so-so
still tired
somewhat depressed
hungry

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hungry
tired
emotionally stable somewhat

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paranoid
anxious

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depressed
sad
tired
sleepy
unloved
empty

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yeah i have friends and my bf to talk too...but still it's hard...i don't like crying...

hey just noticed u live in berkeley...i live very close to u...
viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=220 (my PLACE)
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i sied today :( ...cuz i didn't want to talk about a recent death of a friend..so my therapist would focus on the si....but she didn't...i don't know if she knew...all i told her was i was so DEPRESSED and wanted to be in a coma....... http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=220 (my PLA...

tired
nervous
depressed
sleepy
viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=160 (my PLACE)
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i feel rotten, terrible, and very depressed....i had a bad day because i was trying out a new medication and it made me feel sick, dizzy, my legs unstable and weak when i walked, nauseuous, fatiqued, my throat and face felt weird, like unflexible... now i am trying to finish a paper... my bf is tire...

i am... depressed hopeless wanting a way out i am not... able to enjoy life able to deal with my moods able to think rationally i feel... alone torn down in the abyss i want... someone to hold me someone to save me someone to nurture me whole i need... my meds to help me my family's love and concern...

ok i just wanted to write this out...because i know i have some false beliefs about myself but i can't see them all of them... i view myself as an INTELLIGENT person, yet i also see myself as a complete FAILURE....(if i am not working, or in school-mainly) i view myself as a KIND and COMPASSIONATE p...

tired, nervous and excited
cuz i'm flying down to see my family for THANKSGIVING

viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=80 (my PLACE-everyone invited)

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still don't know what to do...
suicide...option
inpatient...but 4 days might not get out soon
flight in 4 days

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suicidal

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i think i need to go inpatient...but i don't want to...i felt suicidal today...thinking of taking tons of pills and stunning myself with stun gun

viewtopic.php?t=88288 (my PLACE)



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my psychiatrist (just met with him)....said i need to get rid of my STUN GUN...wants confirmation...FUCK HIM...it's mine and i bought it when it was legal...stupid FER wants me to get rid of it and get confirmation otherwise he will call the police on me.... :evil: http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic...

maybe i'll stun myself tonite...already sied...so what the hell

COLLIDE- collision course to hell

therapy session today....talked about about how the ended up in the PSYCH ER the weekend..etc..still pissed at the crisis line lady for lying and saying she won't TRACE THE CALL!!!!!!!! then sends the police after me!!! ..... and ambulance...etc told my therapist that i got my PEPPERSPRAY....also to...

feel like i need to throw up...because i have an eating disorder...need to get thinner...

viewtopic.php?t=88288 (my PLACE-everyone invited)

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