bus

ive never been one to talk much let alont tell people when they uspet me. I usually harbor all my feeling until i feel like drving someone over. I know this is not healthy. I just rather let people walk all over me. I want to change but i dont know how. Im scared that Ill never have the confidance t...

lonely and alone.
proud that im not just wallowing in it.

You totally hurt my feeling today. i mean its not a big deal on anything but man you acted like such a effin tard. If you had been standing in front of me in that moment i would have thrown something at you. Its not what you said (because i totally agreed) but it was how you said it. Like I was so d...

loud emotional *sigh*

what am i doing wrong?
what am I doing right so i can do more of that.

unworthy
dissapointed
but also hopeful

he started off the new year by taking a stab at me. I was already feeling really low and he basically kicked me in the stomach. It really hurt my feelings and I lost a little bit of trust in him. It makes me feel like im sort of worthless. but i refused to let ppl dictate how i will feel. I can feel...

everything is exactly like it was last year only now I know that the meds dont work and my T is gone. I dont see much point in pretending like im ok so I dont. The people around me mean nothing. The word lonely isnt strong enough to match my insides. Oh if you only knew how hard I tried for the pas...

Activated charcoal is soooo terrible. and even before then you vomit so much. probably the worse thing is being sent to the psych ward and having people look at you like ur a freak. ****trig*** I took a bottle of sleeping pills and the worse part is my mom found me lying on the floor unconcious. I c...

i am proud of myself today because tomorrow i want to wake up

im not all that happy and i cant even tell my parents
half the time i dont know what day it is cuz they are all the same to me

She finally got what she wanted. The breakdown of all breakdown. I cried until i hyperventilated and all she could say was "i dont know how to help you". I keep remembering thoes words "i dont know how to help you". i wish i could say that I feel better for getting it all out but I dont. If anything...

i feel guilty about wanting to die because he should have lived. Sitting there during the funeral I wanted to be a better person. I wanted to get over with whatever it is im stuck in and start living. I wanted to be just like him. The crazy thing is I hardly knew him. He died at 18 but it was 18 yea...

i want him to feel like crap because I do
I stopped talking to him because I like talking to him. I hate that.
Sometimes I want to light myself on fire
On fri I cut my wrist. I wanted to die. I want to die. I think about it all the time

i dont know what im living for I keep wishing I would die but there is always something holding me back from just doing it. I used to think it was the disappointment that I know my family would feel but now i dont think i have anything left. I dont have anything left. I dont have anything left and I...

For the first time ever I feel POWERFUL and no one knows what Im about to do. Its the most liberating feeling ever. I wish everyone on bus could some day feel this great. I hope that everyone gets what they want or need. Sometimes its a downer to come here cuz everyone is going thru stuff but I know...

i am... tired invisable teetering on the edge i am not... capable of putting things into words i feel.... scared violent miserable lost i want... to stop this i need... a true support system to talk i have... nothing left i love... being in control i hate... not understanding what is going on. not t...

Si stuff...im not really sure if this is allowed. edit if needed.


There was all this bld but i still didnt hit the vein. I dontknow if i want to die but I guess thats my answer right there.

Im putting all i got into this job and its killing me.

after I purge i feel like hell but i keep doing it.
Im going to keep purging because i dont have anything left.
A part of me wants to tell someone but if i do they will take it away from me.

im scared but im not really sure of what

no comments no hugs no pity no respect *ed* alli can think about is food. Not just food but binging and purging and exercising and lax and every other thing. I just want to be @@ pounds. Part of me knows it wont make everything go away but I still feel it will. - sometimes he really weirds me out - ...