bus

thankies Lin :D Another one for yesterday... and important too: :redstar: I wrote R a letter, explaining that I did not see her as a friend anymore. That she has become a sister to me. She didn't frown when she got it... it made her happy! (because she always wanted a sister, but never had one). I w...

you ate lunch!! woOOot!!
goodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgoodgood!!!
yay, now I'm even more happy
being social is of course a really good thing too

well if bussing helps, can you make an agreement with yourself that when you have to calm yourself - you go bussing for eg. 30 minutes? That way you can hopefully take your mind off things and then get back to work. Maybe getting some (herbal) tea might help too. Some kind of short (&easy) distracti...

I don't know. I can't change the situation. I need to find some way of validating how I feel but my usual route (i.e. talking to peeople until I've calmed down) isn't available. But crucially I need to be working. This is work time. I shouldn't be posting on bus. Can you think of other ways to calm...

I can't cry over myself right now, so SI is the next best thing. I feel like I can feel bad about myself, because I have just given myself a reason to. Can you cry out on paper (ie- write or draw)? does that help? Why do you have to feel bad about yourself? Is feeling good about yourself not a much...

raven wrote: i love my stuffed panda

pandas are cool! I love black&white animals
(yes... I'm a zebra addict )

I can imagine you don't want to bring that up..

can you open the products with another kind of tool, one that is not so strongly linked to your SI?
(or do you use it to break down the cardboard? well, same question in that case)

ill feel (strangely) proud tomorrow that i si'd. i idnt si in college today, though i wanted to, and it made me feel like a failure - so si-ing now would erase those. ill feel like im weak, im stupid because i cant even si. sorry - I hope I'm not offending you by saying this - but you're going thro...

Can you get something else to do at work? So you don't have to have a tool in your hand all day long? Okay, odd question, is the tool similar/the same to what you used to cut with? Does it help to try to think of some way to discern between "SI tool" and "tool-at-job"... something that doesn't make ...

yay!
*is proud of you too*

Monday: :blkstar: I managed to shut up this really annoying person by saying something she couldn't really respond to. I kept polite (while I was boiling with anger inside) but could shut her up with one remark! (normally she always has something to say back to you, but now she didn't) Today: :redst...

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I don't know. I guess I'll feel like I'm actually acknowledging what I'm feeling and I'll feel like I can do something about this. Is there any other method that will/might make you feel more or less the same? what do i really want to do r...

*cheers for all the pozzies*
good good
and certainly good for going to school, despite being scared!
*applauds*

Okay, I missed out on a lot of pozzies... gotta fill them all out. Friday: :pinkstar: I was invited to celebrate my best friend getting her bachelors' degree. The only other people she invited were her parents and brothers... I guess that indicates I have a special place in her family. I'm almost a ...

heya Lin... yes maybe we could treat eachother :tongue: okay back to pozzies: :purpstar: I'm feeling really really positive today :purpstar: Therapy went well because I could finally discuss the "SI images in my head" (and T was doing a good job, for a change) :purpstar: I managed to arrange a "dinn...

todays pozzies: :ylwstar: I cleaned the living-room when I really didn't feel like doing it. That is good because it shows that I am able to do things that have to be done without too much problems. :ylwstar: I thought about asking R if she wanted to tell how she feels about what I told her last nig...

-- copied from the "top 10 things you are glad you did" post on main -- I am glad that I: :grnstar: Have friends that actually seem to care about me :grnstar: Can paint and draw to express things :grnstar: Got my bachelors degree with quite good grades :grnstar: Can learn quite well :grnstar: Have ...

My mum found out as the first person :( so I talk about it quite often with her... not really the best conversations I've ever had.. she has quite blunt opinions about SI from time to time. Well, from one thing came another, so now my dad and bro&sis also know. I told four friends about it.. with tw...

went painting today.. and its almost finished.. hopefully I'll be able to finish it next time
I managed to scrape up enough courage and call the people of the daytime-treatment centre.
(I was soo scared of doing that.. but I did!! me=proud of myself )

thanks.. I think I will do that tomorrow... he replied (I emailed him) that I could go see him tomorrow morning. (which, I think, is a good thing.. I couldn't have waited much longer, I guess..) I know, saving meds is not the best thing to do. So, I'm very obedient, and I'll take my meds tonight. (n...