bus

I still love you. Just as much as i did in the beginning.

I cant forget you. I cant move on. I spend every minute of every day thinking about you. I need you. And it hurts that i cant ever tell you any of this.

I don't want him to be happy with her.

They knew, but think i stopped over a year ago.

I'm trying to be nice and get back our friendship. All you have to say to me when i try to talk to you is "not now" How fucking dare you. Just how fucking dare you. So i mean so little to you now do i? Bastard.

Cos i sat down and did the revision and note making that i needed to.

The people i love. And that i may miss the best times of my life to come.

I hope A will realise that SU is not the way and see the good in himself.

I hope i can do the same.

I hope i can eventually accept who i am.

I hate that everything i do is wrong to you. Im trying.

How have you moved on so quickly? Why did you tell me about her? I just dont know what to say to you anymore. I love you. Feels like you could never have loved me how much you said you did. Im disappointed. Im sad. Im lost without you.

*curls in a ball and sobs* I dont know why he is doing this

I thought we were getting somewhere. I understand you dont like talking about emotions, but i thought you would be willing to tell me cos you know how important it is to me. Feels like you cant have loved me as much as you said you did cos you are coping better than i am. Which in turn makes me feel...

Im good to talk to.

I miss you so much and it really hurts that i cant tell you that. you probably dont feel the same anyway...

I am so fucking lonely right now. I used to be able to tell you how i was feeling but you dont care anymore, and that HURTS. I just wish that someone other than my parents would truly care.

I think i cut this week just so i wouldnt have to count how long it had been. Feel lost without it. Back down to 3 days now, and i feel safe again.

Today was the first time we spoke in person since we broke up a month ago. It felt like nothing had changed when we started talking. Then it hit me. I am not the same person to you anymore. I feel unimportant to you. And that hurts.

lost