bus

I think I passed my test

I feel vulnerable and hopeless without my tools.

I am going to push through this like I said I would, because I am not going to prove my weakness by asking for them back. I am going to overcome this. I am going to learn that showers don't have to be spent that way.

i am... trying. breaking. in debt i am not... sorry. as strong as I need to be. i feel... naked. dead. i want... a hug. some relief. i need... to be able to trust to be able to talk on the frigging phone for gods sakes i have... no tools. a shitload of work. a problem. i love... her. sleep. my couch...

R: thank you much for being so understanding, accomodating, and all around amazing. Thank you for holding my things for me and agreeing to give them back anytime I ask, though I'll hold out for as long as humanly possible, I promise. Thank you for dismissing any debt I suggest that I hold, though we...

As much as I say that I don't like her anymore, it's probably not true. When she bit me today, I remember how much I wanted to kiss her.

I'm grateful for the lunch he took me to earlier today. I needed a bit of social interaction and he understands a lot of what I'm feeling.

I'm worried that I won't get into the college that I really want to go to. I'm worried that giving away my tools won't help. I'm worried that I'll break. I'm worried that I'll never find someone that loves me for me and all of me.

Why? Why did this have to happen? Is this you finally turning away from me as you should have done so many months ago? Please, let me know you didn't forget about me

confused in a betrayed sort of way, but hopeful. wishing for a logical explanation

My grandmother is on the hospital and she's probably just begun the beginning of the end of her life.

Worst part is, I feel absolutely no sadness or loss. I couldn't really care less. I'm such a horrible person.

I'm making plans to give up my tools for awhile

Why do you visit before and after? I visit because sometimes I can tell that the urge is coming and I really really don't want to give in and this proves itself useful. What do you get out of it? I usually understand better where the urge came from, which helps me squish it. What prompts you to thi...

I feel helpless. I also feel a little alone.

What is your secret? I'm a kleptomaniac of sorts . Why is it a secret? I'd think that to be rather self-explanitory What are your feelings about this secret? I'm fairly neutral towards it and I think that's the problem Why are you telling this secret now? I don't know. I just felt I needed to say i...

*think Prof. Higgins in My Fair Lady* Damn damn damn damn damn. I really didn't mean for anyone to see me! I want a gosh darned invisibility button!!!! Can I order one of those?

I'm not in recovery anymore.