bus

Well. I stopped SI. I think officially a year ago but a few slips. Since I was on antidepressants I've started being more sociable. I think I'm doing better but whenever I skip a few days I slip up really bad. The thing is I really feel ashamed and embarrassed to be on antideppressants. I don't want...

People tell me that I'm crazy. (sometimes I dress up in a suit and I'ma girl). Sometimes people like paintings or drawings I do in art class and I never know how to respond since I only started about a year ago. Someone told me that I'm talented and it made me feel really fuzzy. and I guess I'm smar...

this feels hard. i don't remeber the exact incident but I know one day I came home and nobody was around. I don't think I had a conversation that was longer then, "how was school today" in several days so I felt like I had no one to talk to. I cried a bit and scratched myself. In the beginning I tol...

Thanks. I didn't do it and am feeling pretty proud of myself.

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I don't know. I guess I'll feel like I'm actually acknowledging what I'm feeling and I'll feel like I can do something about this. what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? I guess, in a har...

The idea of something repitious, well, I have a guitar and I can't play but I know the spider which is basically when you play a bunch ofnotes over and aover and it's kinda comforting.

I didn't find any soothing thing to do, I just hung aorund bus until I couldn't keep my eyes opena nd then passed out. It was racing thoughts though. I think coming here calmed a lot of them though.

Why do you visit before and after? Whenever I feel like I have no where else to go I try and post here. What do you get out of it? Sense of not being too alone. Then I feel kinda watched, like I'm responsible for my actions. What prompts you to think posting might be a good idea? i.e. what thought, ...

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I'm hoping it'll help me sleep what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? I'll feel like I'm acknowleging myself. I'll feel like I'm taking away my crediblity as a person how do i want to fee...

Wow this really made me think about my relationship with my T. I think therapy only works if you're willing to do your side of it. Which is say everything that bothers you, not hope that your T can read your mind with their mad psycology skillz. That's the case with me at least. But I say one thing ...

I guess it's a little late of me (and shallow) but I'd get rid of mine. Maybe not with surgery (I'm afraid of other people making me bleed) but if there was something that would make them go away I'd do it because I get triggered by my cuts. I think if they were gone I'd be able to control myself wi...

I guess it's a little off topic but I once remember having a bad day and wanting to tell one of my friends I SI but then before getting anywhere near that point she informed me she was more depressed than I'd ever know. Competitiveness is crazy. I've never showed anyone my scars but i have a friend ...

*hugs* awful of your mother to do that. yea. also am teenage girl who hates mother. mm, the fuck you bit is probably a bad idea. I told my mother and she just changed completely towards me.

am sorry to hear about the savings. hope something good happens with that.

I didn't shave for a while (yea...gross) and thought my ankle was healed, and then after shaving realized scars were quite visible. I have no medical knowlegde on it, but I think blood pumps more when you excciersize so maybe youor scars were near the veins? ...strange though, am really curious now.

yea, stopping early is very good. Sometimes I get permanet markers and write what I'm feeling all over myself. that might help a little until you figure out what to do about your arms. *hugs* I hope whatever you do it ends okay.

I wish I were "normal."
I wish I were assertive.
I wish I talked to them.

Seems like a general standard, so I should mention there might be trigs in this. I don't think anything serious but some of it for me is, so I guess if you're upset easily, even by angstful teenaged idiots like self, then don't read. • have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that ...