bus

daniel: "i'm sorry i was such an asshole. I should never have hurt you like that...i really did love you but i was scared. I'm so sorry." sam: "i know its scarey, i know you don't want to hurt again. but trust me, i'm here no matter what, and will never leave you. i love you." (((he's basically alre...

I really am having second thoughts ...but i know its only because i'm terrified we won't make it that long.... i love you. -- i'm sorry...i love and miss you...and i hope you understand and accept him one day. -- STOP TRYING!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE UP ALREADY! I'M NOT GOING TO TRUST YOU EVER AGAI...

exhausted

kinda happy...i got to ride my moms boyfriends motorcycle to go get food!

...still terrified though....

tired

sore

stressed

terrified out of my fucking mind......

numb
shakey
scared
urgy...i want to cry...

Daniel: ......i love you so much....and i'm so sorry i can't tell you the truth, and that i have to keep secrets from you........i'm just so scared of how you'll react....i love you. Sam: i'm sorry i haven't called you...i'm too scared :oops: i'm happy........and i'm so scared of it......i want to s...

Rick: FUCKING DIE ALREADY!!!!!! YOU TRY AND RUIN OUR LIVES AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO WHATEVER FUCKING GOD IS OUT THERE THAT I WILL PERSONALLY *INSERT GRUESOME DEATH HERE* AND FUCKING LAUGH!!!! Daniel: omg :oops: :cry: :cry: ....you don't know it happened...and i won't let you..you don't know that one of ...

a memory i'd rather forget.......but why does it always come back?...i don't want to deal with this now......i want it to dissapear, to be able to look you in the face without remembering, to hug you without wanting to cringe a little..... daniel & sam: i can never tell you until i'm finally able to...

rick: i hope you fucking die. i will laugh in your face the day your fat ass finally suffers like we did. daniel: i'm so scared........ sam: i love you....and i wish i had the strength to call you and tell you how terrified i am that i might be losing you... :cry: :oops: :cry: :cry: ......i want to ...

because i know i'd have to tell daniel and i hate it when he has to deal with it, because he shouldn't have to anymore. (he's a recovering with only a few slips) so i sat in my living room with the lights off and stared at the television :o it was freaky looking....then my mom came home and i ate ta...

((forgot one))

* getting another bus

* my grandma randomly coming up to me and telling me i'm beautiful * daniel going "see i told you" when told i was beautiful by a really good friend of his * daniel saying "i love you" and then telling me he got butterflies when i really said it back ((i usually whisper it)) * my best friend sam cal...

FUCK!!! Mom: DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! I know your upset, i know i fucked up by getting caught! I KNOW!! it wasn't exactly great getting caught making out with daniel in his blazer, believe me i know i fucked up. i know your pissed. i know. i know. i know. i'm sorry i upset you so much, i really...

Daniel: i still love you........i'm sorry i kissed you...this shouldn't have happened.

Sam: i love you, and i'm sorry for worrying you.

Nick: i'm sorry i worried you.......i shouldn't have told you....

...............

holy shit.......i'm scared....i'm so fucking scared....i fucked it up this time, and i don't know what to do............i want to shred my arms to hell, but i can't..........omg, i'm so sorry....

"i took to many and now i'm done"......

i'm so sorry.......

Mom: why won't you ever help me? why is it that whenever i tried to get help, you only kept up appearences until you dropped it like it never existed? I feel enough like shit for you to treat me like it because you think that those few times i've actually tried for help is all for attention. Is it r...

i didn't cut (and still haven't) because i have a doctor appointment in a couple of days, and i don't want them see or find any fresh marks (i'm already freaking out over my scars) that and saturday night the band is having a concert and i don't want to risk anything even if i am staying at the merc...

wow....this is an old post....i'd forgotten i'd posted in here....it's under my old name though (Sammy)...till my account jacked up and i made this one..... glad to say that i've stopped cutting words...."ANGER" can still be seen, sadly.....and i've got lines of scars on my legs now.....so i guess i...

...i wish i didn't still love you as much as i do
i wish you knew what you did to me...
i wish i didn't break down and cry whenever i hear that song......

i wish i wasn't sick......or that i had to fight so hard against this urge....

Daniel: YOU FUCKING HURT ME!! Do you realize that? do you know how much it hurt me to see you with her? to know that you probably just made me throw away the best fucking thing i ever had, cause you couldn't!!? FOR HER!!!? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!! .......you'll never know that i feel like this, and...