bus

I am.. strong wise smart unsure sad hurting scared excited cold I am not... okay stable I feel... fat empty like i'm losing what sanity is left calm scared guilty afraid I want... to believe again help a way out no more tears to cry good health I need... help hope faith warmth love good health I ha...

So Sick -- Flyleaf I will break into your thoughts With what's written on my heart I will break, break I'm so sick, Infected with where I live Let me live without this Empty bliss, Selfishness I'm so sick I'm so sick If you want more of this We can push out, sell out, die out So you'll shut up And s...

like i'm falling apart...


like i'm not going to be able to pull through this...





all i want to do is cry...


i'm shaking....



:1crying:

me: STOP FUCKING EATING!!!


Rachel: i love you...this hurts so goddamn much.



Brian: I love you so much. thank you for wanting to help...i hope you can. i'll give you the letter as soon as i can. i promise.

so fucking cold...i can't stop shaking.....its like 75 outside!.....fuck


like i'm losing the shreds of sanity i'm clinging to so goddamn desperately.


paranoid.






desperate as hell to not feel like this any more



...like i want to take pills.

that painting does sound very beautiful Daria! i wish i was able to see it. i love this thread...its a very good thing....we could all do to find beautiful things about our body. i suffer from a very distorted body image, and struggle with anorexia...so things like this is never easy...but as an art...

Otep. this woman is my muse. her songs are perfect for what i'm feeling. AUTOPSY SONG [intro/gutter] i once, dreamed of a world ... without consequences, without reminders ... of this brutal, gutter i am collapsed in. once i dreamed, but then ... i ... woke ... up. [song] ...open wide, look inside a...

SAM CALLED ME!!!!!! i have my best friend back.

NICKS BIRTHDAY!!! *dances*



Telling Brian I luff him...cause i can't say love yet.

so fucking tired.

hurting.

annoyed ((goddamn hospital))






...thrown off.....but in a good way.


Excited for Nicks b-day

loved.

Sam: please talk to me again. please? i miss you...i love you...please... Brian: i love you...i can't say it yet...but i do. Luff will have to do for now though. Nick: i love you. Happy early birthday. Me: You're fucked up. Look at what you're doing to your friends! You're loved ones! fucking quit a...

I'm going to apply for a job today!! yay!

earphones are good. Skye's right about that. So far i've gone through two..and am watching my mom finally go through the third one........ its not easy i can tell you that right now. But the best thing you can do is be there for your mom...she's going through a tough time as well. Depending on your ...

drugged...


kind of out of it....

happy (I found an really good friend!!)

Finding a friend that i've been searching for. (i was worried as hell over him too) Knowing that if i go into the hospital...Brian is willing to live there till i leave...lol Hearing the "i love you" in his voice everytime we talk...cause he won't say it till i'm ready to say it back. :blush: :D :bl...

Because of You -- Kelly Clarkson ((me and my mom summed up in one song)) I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself Cause my heart so much misery I will not break the way you did, You fell so hard I've learned the hard way To never let it get that far Because of you I never...

detached.

blank.

fat.

idiotic.

hateful towards myself.





fucked up.

I have been si free for 5 MONTHS !!!! today!!

hot bowl of rice & cream of mushroom...

being told i'm beautiful.

knowing he wants to say i love you, but won't cause its too soon.

him holding me tight cause he knows i've been kind of ill lately.

..him nagging me to make sure i eat.

horribly urgy....all i want to do is cut....

Two more days until my 5 month mark....*clings to it*