bus

worthless

alone


scared


like i'm going to cry again


i want to cut so bad its making me dizzy...

Fetus Fucked - Adam Absinthe i felt so alive today had a smile on my face then came your reality you gave me a taste acid burn through my fucking skull cast your horror then i fell made me crawl back to my cell why don't you crawl back to hell yeah we know your lies a broken family's rules bloodshot...

*like i want to just raid the pills my mom has hidden. just so that i can have one more hit, and one more time where i feel absolutely nothing.

*angry

*loved

*worried

*like screaming...or crying whichever comes first.

* i have to lie about D. I have to pretend that i don't still love him with every last breath of my soul. * My mom looks at me with disgust any time D is ever mentioned. It kills me to know that she hates him so badly that she would rip me out of his life because of it. (and she doesn't realize that...

remembering every happy memory, just to fall asleep.


talking to him on the phone when we haven't been able to talk for days at a time.






hot tea. *nod*

knowing that he wants to be with me. even with all the pros and cons.

getting a job!

talking to people i love.




Dancing around living room like a nerd when a song comes on.

cold...

drained again...

apprehensive and i don't know why...

but then again...

energetic,

and hopeful...

Name: Sammy Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yes...i'm stopping. If so what is your motivation: my mind, i started to have a total mental collapse and i knew that if i kept up the way i was, my si would get to the su point... Favorite coping skills: painting Coping skills that work the...

in love...but hurting because of it.

scared.

tired.

like i'm not going to make it through without slipping.




...like a fucking moron.

((daniel)) i love you so much. but i'm still afraid that you seriously hurt me. that you really did do all of that stuff. that you don't love me as much as you say you do. that even though god himself said we'd be together again, that was just a lie by you to keep me there. keep me with you. i'm not...

just completely off the wall.

worried.

paranoid.

hopeful.

scared.

sick. ((allergies))

...excited...sort of.


like i want a freaking job!! <-- *doesn't know anybody in florida yet*

Another crowded dance floor Another empty glass Another failed hello It's your alibi Another splendid lie It's the bruises that you can't show It's another lonely sunset Another starless sky The nervousness inside It's the final kiss from a lover's fist It's the reason why you can't cry It's a viole...

tired.

like i want to cry.

guilty.

afraid.

confused.

She is not scared to die.. The best things in life drive her to cry. Crucify then learn.. (take so much away from inside you, makes no sence, you know he can't guide you, he's your fucking shoulder to lean on, be strong!) Sit and watch me burn.. She's led to believe, that it be ok, look at your face...

freezing.


excited but apprehensive towards tonight....

R: i love you. i hope everything will be okay again... please let me kiss you... D: even though i know you're still lying about stuff that happened. i do believe you regret it. that you realize you fucked up and lost something you'd never had before. but i forgive you. i still love you, but differen...

I Need You To Love Me -- Barlowgirl


it fits perfectly right now....there's so much, and yet he's right in the middle of all of it. i'll post the lyrics next time i'm able.

i told him that i was okay. that us doing stuff didn't bother me anymore. i lied. i'm still not okay with my SA. and even worse... i'm nowhere near okay with him having sa'ed someone. i met her. that made it worse. -- i want to take a knife to all the parts of me that aren't good anymore. --i'm sti...

why?





i don't think i can do it anymore. i'm trying so hard not to snap again.....i'm not getting better....so why even fucking try? the voices won't stop.

TooL - Prison Sex ((don't ask me why, but its because of this song that i love to be called Precious...i don't know why.)) It took so long to remember just what happened. I was so young and vestal then, you know it hurt me, but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive even if signs seem to tell me o...