bus

i am... stupid hurting pissed tired i am not... beautiful strong stable i feel... alone again worthless disgusting like a dumbass i want... to sleep to have you hold me to see you to hear you tell me it's alright ....to die.... i need... help you to call me this pain to go away to be normal...(what...

i wish i knew what will happen with us...that would be really nice....
i wish that i was able to starve myself more (my friends and family won't let me)
...most of all......i wish i didn't want to die...and that i saw more hope in living.....

--Sammy

i love you....i love you.....i love you..........do you know how fucking long it took me to finally be able to say that to you! to finally admit it to myself?! i fought myself so fucking hard to believe it.....so why do i hate myself for it now?......please, daniel....please tell me what's going on....

Daniel: im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry....no matter how many times i say it i can never mean it enough....i'm sorry i can't tell you what i really want to, and i'm sorry i can't tell you that i want to die......and i'm sorry i hate myself so much, because i know it hu...

last time i wanted to si..i actually did :cry: :oops: .....but i didn't do it [worse] like i wanted to, because i was on the phone with my boyfriend and i forced myself to tell him that i was really badly urgy, and he helped me fight it...soothing me and telling me that he loved me and he just wante...

of course you can do this! i believe you can make it through and be strong! *hugs if u want* hope it gets better

--Sammy

i wish i knew if you were lying or not...

i wish she would leave me alone, and stop making me doubt you...

i wish this didn't affect me so much...

i wish i didn't have to hurt myself to make it all go away...

...i wish i loved myself the way you say you love me...


--Sammy

i'll answer these the best i can... i am... hurting beautiful strong trying... i am not... stupid just "wanting attention" as strong as i pull off to be alone anymore... i feel... depressed hurt scared tired worried loved frustrated angry ...beautiful when you look at me... i want... to not hurt any...

...i've cried for the first time in a long time...and i still do, but i can't irl anymore.....so i'll do it here and get it out of my system..... :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ...thanks for this pla...

Danielle: what the FUCK is wrong with you!! Is is so bad that he's with me that you feel you HAVE TO FUCK with us!!! I did nothing to you! i don't even really fucking KNOW YOU!!! leave us the fuck alone or i swear to god i'll bring FUCKING HARM to your sorry ass!!!! Sam: your my best friend and i lo...