bus

proud of myself cause i made it through musical practice without breaking.

i just.. really miss you..

i'm scared i am a fake.

i'm scared that without my band director around to keep me in line.. that i'll fall back to where i was.

i'm scared of myself at times..

I Feel So - Box Car Racer Sometimes I wish I was brave I wish I was stronger I wish I could feel no pain I wish I was young I wish I was shy I wish I was honest I wish I was you not I 'Cause I feel so mad I feel so angry I feel so callused So lost, confused, again I feel so cheap So used, unfaithful...

sleepy.
tired.
not exactly here.

pathetic.
unwanted.
hated.
weak.
guilty.

i wish i couldn't hear her voice.
i wish i didnt worry people.
i wish i could see him.. right freakin' now.
i wish i could get a hug from him
i wish i could explain how i feel..

and i wish she'd shut the heck up.

I'm proud of myself today, because I didn't tell the drama coach just what I wanted too.. even though I felt I should have. Dani was good and kept her mouth shut [for the most part.]

upbeat.
buzzing.
positive..

I blame the Red Bull I had..

i wish i could identify what the heck has been bothering me for the last 2 days.. and that i could fix it..

selfish.
worthless.
unwanted.
unloved.
invisable.
not heard.

not okay.

I wish I could tell you exactly what I think.
I wish that I wasn't so afraid of getting help.
I wish I could make just one little difference with something of mine.
I wish.. I wish too many things..

I think I finally got what I wanted to across.. Yea, you never know what to say to what I've written.. but it's not like I ever expected a thing from you.. you gave me more than I can ever thank.. and thank you..