bus

I've always had this thing where I wanted to get you, I wanted you to fall for me, even though I didn't "like" you that way and knew you were dating another friend. And then unexpectedly we became best friends and its as if I still stive to have you fall in love with me EVEN THOUGH you are STILL in ...

disrespected
&
unapreciated

and never in my life have I felt these things until this day. and it sucks.

suicidal

thanks for leading me on.
Thanks for making me hurt twice as much.
Thanks for making me think someone out there could love me and then remembering what it feels like to have it turn out to be lies.
Thanks for giving me one more reason to hate myself.

i have work tomorrow.

and I have to wear short sleeves or a hoodie to cover my scars in which case everyone knows anyway.

*SU* You Won't Know By Brand New Hey, hey, hey, Mr Hangman, Go get your rope Your daughters weren't careful, I fear that I am a slippery slope Now even if I lay my head down at night After a day I got perfectly right She won't know... So play little player, you gotta contend? And you can't blame you...

Like it will never end.

like I'll never get over Jonny's death.

Like he was the only one that loved me and now I'm alone.



suicidal

Can YOU just call me? Should I have to do all the work? Or maybe I just want you more than you want me, maybe what you said is a lie. I JUST want to know the truth. Guessing is making me more upset than I would be if I just knew the truth. Maybe you have another woman? How would I know? I'm never ov...

i want to sleep with him, it's all I've wanted, but for some reason I'm holding out.

Hurt by Jonny Cash I hurt myself today to see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing that's real the needle tears a hole the old familiar sting try to kill it all away but I remember everything what have I become? my sweetest friend everyone I know goes away in the end and you could have...

worthless.
lonely.
scared.
suicidal.
depressed.
alone.
out of control.
like a fuck up.

Please God, just help me. I can't live like this anymore. I can't live anymore...

please take this pain from me.

wow really? Looking for a girlfriend? How could I fall for such shit, I was drunk not brain damaged! Looking for a fuck would have been more appropriate... and you know what? You would have had a better chance if you just SAID that. Honestly. Way to leave me lying there. I'm glad I didn't let you. A...

used.
used up.
USED.

scared of myself.

I wish I'd want to live again.

odd
used

what had happened just before? :star: I had a dream that I saved Jonny. In fact I repeatedly had a dream that I saved Jonny. It felt so real. what were you thinking and feeling? :star: At first I felt some closure. I felt good. I could still smell him lingering. But it was followed by a bitter after...

Even now


EVEN 3 MONTHS after Jonny's suicide


I still think I can save him.


it's pathetic isnt it????




.fuck me.

Jude Law And A Semester Abroad Lyrics Brand New Whatever poison's in this bottle will leave me broken sore and stiff. But it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at. He owes me one last wish. So here's a present to let you know I still exist. I hope the next boy that you kiss has something terr...

i went to the dmv something I have been putting off forever

and even though there are still many things in the way of renewing my permit

i still went down & checked it out