bus

I don't know. But for some reason, I am trying to stop.

I think that in the big perspective I really want to stop, but the little stuff, life my mood today for instance confuses me sometimes.

i can certainly agree to feeling that way. when i was admitted into IP, the pdoc there asked to see my scars. i showed him, and he said, "hmph. there aren't even many of them." it was a major trigger for me. asshole. when i first saw my pdoc, he asked how i did the one because it looked cool. :roll:...

i'm always impressed by afters because people often figure out so much more about themselves and their injury through them. congrats for getting the courage to fillone out. i hope that you will be able t fight the urge the next time you wish to injure.

Sorry you followed through with your urges to self injure...

I would have certainly been freaked out if I would have been told that I would have to retake my year of college.

Learn from your slip instead of beating yourself up over it. Take care.

sleeping in

i wish i wasn't born..

right before i stopped injuring, i went through a period of writing words... a new word or vocabulary list every day.. now, when/if i slip, i usually write something.

whore, slut, failure, scarred forever...... and many many more.

B- I don't like you. I dont want to hug you. Understand that. Hugs in general make me uncomfortable, but when you hug me and never let go.. it brings back so many memories.

Jason- I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I deserve to go to jail for what I did to you. I'm going to report myself tonight.

it hurts so much to be alive..

i usually don't have a hard time replying to these, but i'll try. i think that although it is a shame that you did injure, you learned a lot from it. and to me, that means a lot. i know i didn't write much, and i'm sorry but i am sending warm, comforting thoughts. please take gentle care of yourself.

i do think the idea of cutting bad enough is somewhat interesting.

however, i can relate. i'm sorry you felt the need to injure. that's about all i can offer tonight.

you're not alone, i've done many many words.

short on words, but i wanted to let you know that when any family member of mine is hospitalized, i feel intense urges to harm myself.

hmm..this might be really hard for me to do..but i feel as if i really need to see this in writing.

i'm healthier without it.
it's easier to function in everyday life.
part of me loves myself.

CREDIT FOR QUESTIONS GOES TO MALLIE. Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI ? Yes. If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out ? They were angry, frustration, feeling worthless, feeling like I would never be good enough, dissapointed. Not sure how I figured them out t...

thank you Deb!

am i the only one not seeing any signatures in any posts today?