bus

:star: How will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I will feel like I have received the punishment I deserve for what I've done. I will be able to express some of the pain that I can't find words for. :star: what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from...

When will it stop hurting so much?

That felt like an ambush. I'm hurting.

I'm having a numb day.
I've stopped thinking about you. Praise be to God.
It's not easy but that part of me has switched off.

now it's started i don't think they will stop..

i am glad that you told her. and i am glad that it is out. she is the most incredible person. you married an amazing woman. i hope you know that. i hope you appreciate that. i hope you are sorry to your soul. i hope it all works out for you. for you two. i hope this shakes you in becoming that bette...

You are the worst mistake I ever made.

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE SOOOOOOOOOOO INFURIATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why do I continue to waste my time and energy on you? Fuck it. Except I won't, because eventually you'll say something to make me almost smile and all my anger will get diffussed... and I'll smile a...

Bloody hell, I need you to be the strong one okay?! You said that you would never draw the line. Well, okay that's not exactly the words you used, but it's close enough. It's enough to make me feel empowered and terrified all at once. Saying things like that make me feel powerful beyond measure. And...

i'm wearing the wedding ring. i know it's the one you "lost".

Not talking is killing me. It is so hard. There is so much to share, and to laugh over, and to discuss with you. I know I shouldn't be this desperate. And even more, I am scared that you will not care about getting back in touch. That I will spend all day waiting for you and you won't bother. And I'...

I want to kiss you. So much.

I am SO there too! I have found making a timetable really helpful. With lots of breaks in it. I work for 45mins and then I have 15mins to do whatever. So my "lovesick" part has an outlet AND my work gets done. I wouldn't just try to shut it off, I find that doesn't work so well. Acknowledging it and...

I want your husband.

I head over heels with you. But you're wife. You seem happy with her. And I like her. If I could have you and not mess everything up. But for the kids. I like them. But I certainly don't want to be their extra mommy. If I could have you and not mess everything up. But I know you want me too. I can s...

don't you know that when i say i'm fine I AM NOT FINE?
work it out already!

you just messaged me.
i just replied.
and so it continues. when will we get a grip.

i need a drink.

sometimes i feel so alone on BUS.
i post something and people view it, but no-one replies.
it's so isolating.
somebody read that private thing and didnt respond!
AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know how we ended up in this relationship. And I don't know why we are doing this. And I don't know why we can't just walk away from each other. When we are apart I promise myself that I won't go back again. But I do. I enjoy pushing the boundaries with you. I enjoy putting the danger and th...

Hey guys, thanks for the encouragement. It really does help to know that you're not posting into some black hole, and there is support out there. My flat-mate left this week, to go on a long-term trip, and she isn't going to be back until mid-September. It's been two days and I'm already struggling ...