bus

Ani DiFranco's music totally changed me when I discovered it 6 years ago... this was the very first Ani song I ever heard & to this day, it is still my favorite. I feel like it so perfectly describes depression... (from the album "to the teeth") wish i may ani difranco i'm losing my love of adventur...

I have mixed feelings about my scars. The only ones I have are on my thighs. I don't like for people to see them-- esp since most people don't know about my SI. On the other hand, I don't care if my friends who know about my SI see them. I wonder what spring and summer will be like this year b/c I h...

This is always a touchy subject for me... There are a handful of people in my life who know about my SI. They include: my therapist, my psychiatrist, a writer mentor of mine, and 4 of my closest friends-- Emily, Frances, Hunter & Jen. I have been in therapy for 6 years, and I never told my first doc...

Just noticed it is my 1 year anniversary on bus... hard to believe. anyway... Thanks for your responses. Just wanted to let you know what's been going on. Went to therapy today & it really helped. We talked about Emily & the events of this weekend, and my doctor is concerned about how it is affectin...

Haven't posted on this board in awhile... **SU & SI trigs** I have been dealing with depression & a past attempted SU & SI for about 6 years now. Many of my closest friends also have similar histories. One of the best of these friends is Emily. Emily also has major problems with SI & she often tells...

**I have lied to every single person in my life... huge lies. But I have never lied on bus. **No one seems to understand how depressed I am. My friends don't seem to hear me. My doctor thinks I have "so much to be happy about... so many accomplishments" when the things I have done in my life mean no...

Coping is something I have really been working on the past few years (since I started seeing the therapist I am with now). One thing that I do is keep a list of coping strategies by my desk or coffee table or somewhere I am likely to be when the urge to SI comes on... ON my list are things that will...

*slight SI trigger* I can really relate to this, esp recently. I will usually go through phases where I will SI a lot, and then not at all... I recently lapsed back into doing it pretty frequently, which has a lot to do with the wreck that my life is right now. But what I am getting at is that 2 of ...

Collide--- I actually spend the majority of my therapy sessions telling stories of what's going on with me. I've been with the same therapist since May 2003, and she is great. She is really optimistic and I am so not, so it's good for me. My doctor knows that I have very few people in my life I can ...

--I am 27 years old & have never been in a relationship or even been kissed. --I have lied to every single person I know in real life about relationships, depression, rape, and abuse. If any of them found out, I would have no one. --I tell so many lies that I have begun to believe them myself. --I t...

Name: Aimee Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: reduce. I don't think I'm ready to stop yet. If so what is your motivation: I know it's unhealthy and it has made my life so much more complicated than it ever was before. Favorite coping skills: coloring; screaming/ singing in my car; writi...

I am convinced that i have an attachment disorder, though I've never been diagnosed with one. I am 27 years old and I have never been able to be in a relationship. Whenever someone tries to get close to me, I get scared and back off. I am scared of opening up to people and even more scared of making...

Sorry babe - i did read this before but you see when i've told my friends it's always been directly after an 'episode' when i really needed some urgent help so they've had to help me first and then figure out how 'crazy' i am. and to be honest they don't really seems interested in learning more. Ma...

from anyone...

I know this is not exactly an *urgent* post-- but I would appreciate someone's advice.





Aimee

I just spent the weekend with several friends, one of whom is a close friend named Frances. On Sunday, Frances overheard me telling my friend Emily about a friendship I had that ended 2 years ago. This old friend knew that I cut and would always tell me that I belonged in a hospital and that I was s...

I truly believe that SI is an addiction. It's been in my life for 5 years now, and just when I think I am over it, the urges come back. I also sometimes get urges for no reason. But the hardest part for me is that whenever I am angry or upset or frustrated, SI is my next immediate thought. Sometimes...

The CPN asked me what I wanted to acheive and my response was to be able to name and deal with my feelings in appropriate ways that didn't include self harming and learn how to relate to other people and where to draw appropriate boundary with people. that sounds similar to me. I have been in thera...

My sleep is SOOOOOO screwed up when I am depressed. I take naps all the time, stay up really late (usually till 3-4am) then sleep till 2-3pm the next day. But I tendto have a really hard time going to bed at night & getting to sleep... once I am asleep, though.... Ironically, these problems with fal...

I was diagnosed in Dec 1999 with severe clinical depression & a panic disorder... these have been refined in the past few years... my panic disorder has now become a more generalized anxiety disorder. I still have big problems with anxiety but I rarely have panic attacks anymore. My depression diagn...