bus

frustrated.
and scared.
and unfocused.

bleary
headachy
annoyed that i didn't sleep better last night

good on you, Poya Maitri; hope you feel better for it!

i am proud of myself because i made it through my exam yesterday, wrote something for every question and have spent most of today studying (*wioth* regular breaks and remembering to eat).

spaced out and detached
and like i should be more worried and/or upset about not-getting-things done than i am...

buttons
icons
watching The Simpsons on the couch and being held
being told 'well-done' for remembering things

firstly, let me say "i relate". ( http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=73784 ) ...i kept having (brief) mental images of SIing....usually when i have the urge to SI it's really clearly separate from any suicidal intent. i might *feel* somewhat suicidal, but SI is a way to feel better, to get thr...

scared
disgusted with myself
so very tired
like i should be crying, but...not.

nauseous
tired/heavy
not completely unawake
mad
(a little bit) hopeful

scared
frustrated with myself
tired
unfocused
sore/achy

thanks for the suggestions/support, VowsOfSadness
erinmv andPoorSlain Doll.

now i just have to remember to ...actually try them next time.

and yes, loud music is *good*.
(although makes it hard to concentrate on anything else either, heh).

thank-you both for your replies.

am still thinking.
but it does help to know that others have experienced and gotten through similar.

so...yesterday i was having a bad day, and i kept having (brief) mental images of...uh...SIing. but not in the way i usually do. like, much deeper, and in a different place and basically a lot more drastic than anything i've ever done before. usually when i have the urge to SI it's really clearly se...