bus

Reading
Writing
Polishing silverware (odd but kindof relaxing)

Polishing spoons.

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? To be honest it's a matter of needing to feel pain for what I feel that I have done wrong.... my mother really loves to point out to me every mistake I've made and to hold grudges... I just need an escape. Have I been here befor...

Mum: so what if I was a demanding child? so what if my father didn't want me? you could get a modicum of tact and not tell me that. you could tell me about all the good things I've done instead of rubbing my face in every mistake i've ever made. you will never know about my si because you were the m...

Hip hop.. heh. We had to listen to French rap music today in French class...


On another note... streaking my arm all over with a red marker has the same release/escape effect as acutal SI.

Hm, I should start keeping one... all my notebooks are filled with reeeaaaaally negative dark stuff...

Aha... I have found mine. I have a rubber ducky (one of those nifty ones that looks like a devil), and whenever I feel like I need to SI... I stick it full of pins.. Poor duck.. but better him than me!!! That and some kind of grounding thing work quite well for me.

Ahuh, I'm so printing it out. Thanks )

Sometimes when I want to SI I go pray the rosary... it really helps to pray, if you're so inclined, and the beads give my fingers something to do besides hurt me...

Last time I wanted to I did.... and a friend referred me here... I'm counting the days until I can get a one-week sticker in my sig.

I've done at least six of those.... they helped

I write poetry sometimes when I want to... most of the time though when I feel like SIing I can't concentrate enough....

I came here after a friend showed me the site... I'm a really recent SIer as well and I want to stop before it gets serious.

I'm bipolar II. When I'm depressed, I need up to twelve hours of sleep to feel rested, but when I'm manic, I can have total insomnia - not sleep all night and feel none the worse for it. Sometimes I get into a "mixed state"... where I feel as hyper as mania.. but as hopeless as depressed... and in t...

I can't say I've ever woken up with cuts on myself... but I know I do throw myself at the wall in the night... so I sleep walled in by pillows.

I don't really have an anti-SI. I do need one.. as of now I have a certain song that I listen to that calms me down a bit... but that doesn't always work...