bus

ok, i have absolutely no idea how complicated it would be to put a serch engine in the memberlist page, or include a memberlist category in the list of categories to search in, but would it be possible? sorry, i know it's a little thing, just that the memberlist is so long and you can't really skip ...

i wish so many unatainable things: -i wish things could be sorted out with *them* so i could talk to him again -i wish i didn't miss him quite so much -i wish i felt loved and needed -i wish i didn't feel so alone -i wish my parents would lighten up and back off -i wish i were back in India, or at l...

"i never meant to hurt you."

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mage

G-d, i miss you.

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i really need help. i'm so afraid to ask. but i need someone -- anyone. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. please.

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mage

hopeless

alone. dispensable.

lonely. missing being away from home. missing my own space.

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mage

why did you lie to me? i hate having to second guess what you say to me. i hate that i fall for it whenever you say you love me and need me and want to be there for me. but you don't want to listen to me -- you never have. i don't trust you -- how can i? i don't want you to touch me when i get home....

thank you. it can't have ben easy for you to say those thigns to me, but they helped. i love you. i'm sorry for the pain and worry and discomfort i have cause you. -- dear. i'm not angry anymore. i think i understand things better. i'm sad and wistful and wish things could go back to before that sum...

better. like i "get" things a bit more. sad and wistful, but not as down as before

i really need help right now. are you there? please please please. i love you andi don't want to hurt you or be a burden to you, but i really need somebody and i'm hurting so much.

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mage

confused, afraid, so so so alone

alone, guilty, frightened.

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mage

"i never meant to hurt you. the love was real, and still is."

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"you're not burden"

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"i need you"

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mage

did you ever love me? i wish i could ask you that. i want to know so badly. i want to believe you did. i miss --. i don't know what i miss, but i feel i've lost something precious and i'm really hurting. -- i'm sorry i'm such a burden to you. i'm sorry for having caused you pain. i feel like you say...

i am... -tired -selfish -struggling -foolish -alone i am not... -ok -good i feel... -guilty -dirty inside myself -sick i want... -to die -to go back to the way things were before i need... -to feel needed -to feel loved -to be listened to i have... -caused pain to people i love i love... -them i hat...

"i love you. that never changes."

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"i'm here. i care."

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mage

i'm not angry anymore. i have been. i was pissed as all hell. but not anymore. don't know what i feel now.


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mage

i miss you. i shouldn't. i should be so angry with you, but i jsut don't have the energy anymore. i just wanted to feel safe with someone. -- are you there? i wish i could talk to you, but i guess you're the one person i can never talk to about this. i've got to get a grip on myself. i wish -- -- le...

i'm sorry to be picky and i hope i'm not treadding on any anybody's toes, but could you please put a trig in if you post stuff that's approaching methods? i found the thing with the string a little hard to handle, and wasn't expecting it, as your trig was only for "poss SI" i do understand that it c...