bus

i know it's not the healthiest reason to stop. i did stop SIing for me, but sometimes when i really want to SI or SU, i can't remember why i shouldn't, and that's when the guilt kicks in.

take care all,
mage0

sometimes i really really want to SI, and the reason i don't is that if anyone ever found out i would feel so guilty, partly for having SIed. but mostly because the people likely to find out would react in a "why didn't you come to me? is this something about me?" way and i don't want them to feel g...

some days, i just don't want to go on. some nights i jsut want to sleep and not wake up.

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mage

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mage

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mage

oh G-d. i'm only now beginning to understand. G-d, it hurts. i love you, and i can't help that. i trusted you.

why?

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you are being far more generous to me than i deserve. i don't deserve this. you should be angry with me. why aren't you? i love you. i don't want to lose you.

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mage

please please please

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mage

why are you doing this? some days i really hate you. i love you and i hate you and i love you and i hate you and i'm so fucking confused.

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i love you. it's that simple.

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mage

thanks!

mage

not sure what it is, but when i click on the link to watched topics i either get an error message or i get the forum index. anybody know what's going on?

also, i'm not receiving "topic reply" notifications by email for watched topics anymore.

thanks.

mage

can anyone tell me what this forum is for/about?

thanks.

mage

"i love you. my little girl"

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"i'm here"

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mage

will you ever understand?

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are you there?

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mage

i'm really really scared. i think i should get out of your life. i'm hurting you, i will hurt you. i don't mean to, i don't want to. i love you. but it's not fair on you if i stay. i don't want you to think it's a problem with you, though. when you hold me i feel so safe and loved and clean. i don't...

stop screwing around with my stuff! why do you have to be such a fucking control freak with no consideration for other people's time or commitments or belongings? the least you could hazve done was talk to me before making the decision, but instead you jsut couldn't be arsed to even tell me about it...

fuck off. i'm nobody's toy.

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mage

something i'd like to hear M and P say to R: "we know you're having a hard time, and we're sorry for all the times we've invalidated that. we're sorry for things that we've said or done that have hurt you. you have the right to feel whatever you feel, and to have those feelings acknowledged and vali...

i feel like i can't do anything right for you. i just want to help, but everything i do or say seems to make thigns worse. you said you wanted me to talk to you, but everytime i try you get hurt and angry and upset, and i jsut don't know what to do or say anymore. -- i love you. and i worry about yo...

something i'd like to hear P say to M: "i'm sorry i never listen to you or the kids. i'm going to stop invalidating all of you and putting my needs ahead of everyone else's, and i'm going to start listening. i love you. i need you. you're important too. you matter. i'm going to stop making you to gi...

listen to her! you never listen. you don't hear. you only ever think about yourself. there are things we *need*. things she *needs*. you have to pull your head out of your arse and fucking listen!

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mage