bus

I wish there wasn't so much pressure on me to do well. I wish there was more to life than school and work. I wish I didn't feel so damn burdened all the time. I wish I didn't feel constantly guilty and in debt to others. I wish I could just enjoy life. I wish I could be real to people and not watch ...

Despair
Anger
Sadness

Three very common words, but sufficient for describing my emotions at this moment.

Angry. I want to kick the ass of those who've scared me and held me in hiding for all these years. I'm sick of hiding my thoughts and feelings to avoid being judged by others. No matter what, some people will hate me and misunderstand me. This is not a defeatist statement, it's a realistic one. Some...

PM's okay. * I'm very self-centered. I often am unaffected emotionally by news stories of big tragedies where lots of people get killed. I pretend to care because I don't want to be seen as inhuman, but I really felt little over all those who died. I also get angry at hearing people contribute to an...

"I love you dearly. Please just rest in my arms for some time. You are tired and worn out. Don't worry about the rest. I'll protect you, I promise. You've been hurt a lot. But it shows how strong you are. Others don't see it, but it doesn't mean it's not there. I believe in you. I see your dreams, ...

I wish I could word it in a way you'd understand. I wish you'd toss out all your preconceived notions. You say you care about me. You say you hurt that I am hurting. If you do, please shut your mouth and listen with an open mind and open heart. I really mean it when the best way you can comfort me i...

I wish it wasn't deemed socially unacceptable to want to be loved, and to be emotionally needy. I wish our society, which loves to call itself tolerant, would tolerate me.

I wish I had a loving and affirming person here IRL who could help me feel safe. I wish school didn't start this week. I wish I could calm myself easier and not need constant stimulation of all the world's problems to feel like I have a purpose. I wish I drove, thus not needing to rely on others to ...

I want to connect the dots for you. You accuse me of ignoring everything you say to me. Let me say that you ignore everything I tell you. No matter what I explain to you, you disregard it. Couldn't you fucking see how crazy I was about you? But no, you kept insisting no one would like you! I'm not s...

(NOTE: I'm using general words that can sound like it's applied to everyone. It's not applied to anyone here. "All" is a term to describe a certain group of people in my life. Don't worry). I hate you all! You are nothing more than bitter codependent housewives. You feel so low of yourselves that yo...

Ah, I see.

How is this forum different from the debate forum?

I was browsing the usergroups and I found there was one for the Paradigm Shifts board. That name itself was interesting.

I'm curious. What is the Paradigm Shifts board about?

Thanks.

*snuggles Neatsy* I'm sorry about your nightmares. I can't think of anything that'd relieve them other than feeling relaxed and safe while going to sleep. I'm sorry I haven't been helpful. I have moments where I feel so disconnected and I just have a hard time empathizing. But I am replying to let y...

PMs welcome. -Sometimes I want to be mean to people just to see if they'd still love me. I feel insecure in my relationships. I fear one minor mistep will make everyone leave me. So sometimes I want to go to the extreme to test people. I'd just feel *realy* safe if someone looked at me and told me t...

This is definitely something hard to do. It's hard for me to do anything but curse at my inner child and drive it further into hiding or despair, until its trust is completely burned out. It's late and I can't focus enough to do it now. I should do this though. I just hope I don't procrastinate, lik...

--- Hello there. I hate to break this to you, but I think you are a nasty, nasty, person. You go on and on about how much you care about me. You act like a fucking saint. But you are no different from a rapist. You may call me strange, but to me, it's clear-cut! I tell you in clear words that someth...

* angry at the world for the perceived general rejection I get from other people. Especially angry at those who really did reject me and make it seem like everyone would reject me. * very sad and frozen inside. It's almost a numb feeling. It's hard for me to feel connected at affection because of my...

* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I will have successfully expressed the anger inside of me due to the chronic invalidation I get from other people. * what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? I will feel temporarily relie...

I wish... * That I didn't feel so overwhelmed that I could not focus on my work * That I had someone to hold me, and that I had the feeling the person would never leave me. * I could go to sleep curled up in someone's arms, knowing that they *want* to hold me and love me dearly. * That people unders...

Hey,

I'm sorry things are rough. Would you mind if I asked another question?

What is making you feel the urge? Is there any external circumstance frustrating you? Are you feeling things that you tell yourself you have no right to feel?

I know you are frustrated and we'll keep being here for you.