bus

Thanks.

Having those questions in my purse feel like having gas in my car or money in the bank. There's a wealth of info there even in revisiting the same questions again and again. I'm just grateful to those who have figured out what it is we need to examine when we stress.

Odette

This after post comes a little late. It's one of those "afters" that has some consequences. I realize now, two days later, that I have to face physical therapy with cuts on the same arm as the shoulder getting worked on. I hadn't been coming to BUS much. Visits had become a little too routine for me...

Yep, I totally relate to that last statement. It IS easier to ask for help on a physical issue. I'm really struggling right now. And what's sad? I don't want to do a "before" post because I won't get to have my relief. Anyhow, thanks for your input. Just having a hard time now -- so many real proble...

Yeah, I think I figured it out. Disappointment is really hard for me. I had something of a crisis yesterday. I saw my T at the "Y" and told her had f*cked up (something else) and that I'd likely be calling her. I have probably only called her 2 or 3 times at home in 5 years, so that's significant. I...

Hi! :wavey: You know, it's the previewing part of the questions on this thread that, in the main keep me from SI'ing ("clean" since Feb. with one very small slip last night -- which is why I've come here). It really sinks in when I ask myself, "What will SI'ing change now? Tomorrow?" And when I answ...

Thanks. Well, it certainly gives me something to talk about with T. Also, I think it will be OK in two weeks time. I've been coddling it/them with golden seal, comfrey, etc. and it's not looking as bad as it felt through the night.

oh

I'd made it since New Year's Eve. Two things that piss me off about this time. 1) I had the nerve to blame it on my H on a message I left on my T's voicemail (has anybody invented a machine to recall messages left and later regretted?) He said something insensitive - after we'd been drinking. Why co...

Hi Panda. I'm happy it was before too. It's amazing how much just writing and griping about the urge can help it to dissipate it.

Well, I've found a bit of time to work on this, though I can't be sure it's the best bit of time because I've had some wine by now. But I shall try. About the past 25 years. Well, you know while I was living those years, it's not like I was thinking, my H is the problem here, but I'll stick it out b...

Mab, You've asked interesting questions and brought up important issues that have had me thinking all day -- about the last 25 years and about security. I am really squeezed for time today and won't be able to write what I'm thinking. I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or upset. I sh...

Hi Susie. :wavey: Looks like I was writing when you posted. Catch you later. It is interesting to me that we both seem to have similar reasoning and concerns and that it is so foreign to you, Mab. No excuses here, but I expect me staying in this marriage for so long is a combination of finding someo...

Maybe I am not understand this, but my partner encourages me to meet my own needs. If fundamental changes need to be made to the dynamic of our relationship to make it happier then she is willing to work with me. She hates our relationship being combative and argumentative as much as I do so we jus...

That is my fear, Okie. I can't get past the idea that if I truly work on me and my own desires, that it will be akin to dropping a nuclear bomb into the middle of my family. I am not sure my husband could accept some fundamental changes in me and I am not willing to risk my marriage. I know. I am s...

Hi Odette Nice to see you here btw Thanks. I think you have to just go back to a very basic level here to find out how to solve it. You don't like that your family invalidates you so you need to share that with them. You need to say to them, "I listen to what you have to say and I try to encourage ...

Thank you, Susie. And don't believe that I am managing better than you. Cutting = not so bad. Wine = overdone. It's just so hard and somehow, even though I know my T is there for me, I will not let it be so. I do know that one thing that is happening is that, as I change it necessarily is throwing m...

"befire", gosh I love my typos (even though my typing teacher in high school took points off for such things. I think a pysch teacher would award extra points). I was goinig to post about "all the while", you know, there's before, there's after, and then there's all the rest of the time when this be...

Thanks. Well, I made to off to bed without cutting. Yay me. I also am garnering the courage to talk with my T about an issue I've managed to avoid with her for the three and a half years I've been with her. I figure I'm just not going to move further ahead if I don't deal with it. So, wish me luck. ...

I hate being here. I said I wouldn't come to BUS any more (it's personal, nothing against BUS). I FEEL like I have nowhere else to go. I hope I don't cut. The last time was new year's eve. I made no resolutions, but that would be a convenient date by which to remember... So, "beef" = meat -- will I ...

:dkpurpstar: How will this situation or feeling change if I hurt myself? It won't change a single thing about the situation. The feeling? Well, there's the issue. My feelings are so all over the place, I can barely tell who I am. Cutting is the one thing I can do where I know who I am. I know all ab...

I've done the drinking thing twice. It is very scary. Somehow it catches you and before you know it (because, you know, I drink on a regular basis so I don't think I can overdo to the point of no return), it's out of control. I hate to think what would have happened if, well, I was able to call some...