bus

Don't know if I dare to name it.

Okay (and realizing I must go sleep to keep it that way).

Tired.

A little bit apprehensive about "tommorow".

Pleased that I got a lot done tonight.

Ouch.

Mmm happy with a side of anxiety. Yep, that sums it up.

Blah.

umm gaping...a bit.

dizzy
fairly ok though apart from that
tired
but also somewhat peaceful.

I don't want to anymore I'm so fu**ing tired.

I want to punish myself.

unlovable.

unable to connect.

*si*

I had this REALLY powerful urge to cut myself last night and I managed not to.

That is good. I don't exactly *feel* the proud part, but I know in my head that it is good. So that will be enough for now

1 year ?



I am so sorry.

the timing will never be right.

I'm glad you were able to write this out, sometimes that alone can lift a huge burden. I don't know if this is the "right" answer or not but it sounds like you need an opportunity to explore this further in some sort of "safe"environment. Maybe a councellor ?, therapist ? or someone similar who can ...

lonely
not hopeful for the future
confused

why are you never there when I need you.
does anyone care about my potential dead-ness.... not REALLY.

scared
ashamed
slightly dirty
lonely
isolated
out of place
unsure
frustrated
a little restless
unwanted
disgusting
sexy ?
confused

Strangely apathetic

Scared.

Anxious.

sneakative

ANXIOUS

Unable to breathe

Desperate

Thrown away

In pain

Unwanted

Strange

I should be dead.

"found out"
discovered and unwanted
alone and thinking about being dead.

kisses, or even the promise of them.