bus

I feel anxious, jittery, nervous, mind racing...

I'm going to make myself get off of the computer and get to sleep!!

I just now managed not to cut. I don't know how or even why I did it really, but i managed. Still on the road to six months without it.

... even though I was feeling awful, triggered, depressed, and sad, I went to my yoga class anyway... I even put myself in the front row!

tired, like I ate too much, and anxious that I won't be able to accomplish all that I need to this week. :/

I almost, almost cut myself last night, which would have broken my almost six month streak of not. But I didn't. I really don't even know why I felt so overcome by a desire to do it... I have hardly felt that at all over the past six months. But last night, I started to put on my pajamas, and all th...

because I'm getting so close to six months...

tired, full, and fat

This happens with me a lot. Just yesterday I realized I hadn't SIed in five months. That's probably the longest I've ever gone, despite the fact that I didn't make a "decision" per se not to. I'm mixed on how I view it with regards to recovery. I DID actually have quite a few trying times and diffic...

I feel so sad and lonely right now

I've definitely been dealing with this for the past few months or so, too. For me, I'd often (though certainly not always) SI in situations where somebody said or did something that felt hurtful or made me uncomfortable or just wasn't nice. However, because my self esteem has historically been in th...

What is it that you are asking? What is it that you want from me? Why do I always say the wrong things?

Awwwww! (sorry, that was in response to AmyFairy)

tired
gluttonous
anxiou

I'm very glad that you can relax into the nice evening ahead of you! Take care.

-S

Incredibly anxious. Nostalgic.

*I wonder if ending that relationship was the biggest mistake that I could make.

*I wish I could just lose it. Absolutely lose it, have a complete breakdown, need to be hospitalized, the works. I hate always being just barely able to keep myself afloat... it is killing me slowly. I'm so tired. Noo one knows or notices or cares when you are slowly dying from the inside out. *I ne...

Hi,

I need to change my username, but I have no idea how. If someone could help me out I would really, really appreciate it!

Thanks,
-S

Silent Scream, thank you so much for your replies... i did manage to delay (indefinitely, so far) and your responses got me thinking quite a bit. I really really appreciate your thoughtful reply, and I hope you are doing well!

-S

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? *I will feel in control, if only for a little while... I will feel an intense, focused pointed sensation that will make me forget everything else I feel now, everything that is even and ever-lasting and depressing and sad. I'll feel a rush ...

This is so stupid... I want to cut, SO badly, for no other reason really than I am just sitting here, bored. Sure there are things going on in my life; but nothing has triggered me specifically, nothing bad happened today... if anything, it's been a pretty good day. This is pathetic. I would love it...