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Before I get started on this "before", I just want to say that I was urging really badly last night and again this morning. So this before is just for me to sort through my feelings and examine them. I stopped SIing for a time. I've started back up and I don't quite know why, but I hate it and I hat...

He doesn't know, I'm just paranoid. I dunno... maybe he'd search for something he knows about me? In any case, I suppose there's nothing that could be done, short of editing all my posts that would concern me. But that just wouldn't be worth it. Thanks, though, for explaining everything to me. I'm j...

I was wondering if someone could help me out. I have a project coming up due and one of my resources was Deb's site, and a slight mention of this forum. Being the paranoid person that I am, I was wondering if it would be at all possible to have my account temporarily locked/banned/frozen until after...

For me, I'll usually regret the fact that I said something or didn't, or that I looked a certain way, or that I acted a certain way. It's not the fact that I feel I didn't deserve to have a good day, it's more that I nitpick what I did to people or to myself that makes what used to be a good day see...

I was prescribed Buspar to combat my social anxiety. I didn't take it for very long, as I soon pulled myself off all meds, but I didn't notice any strange side effects while taking it (which was a period of about three weeks). I'm not quite sure that I took it long enough to develop any noticeable s...

I think it'd be a good idea. The one other forum I frequent has an age category (though it's for a much different reason!!), and it's completely optional to fill out unless you'd like access to an age-restricted area of the site. I don't see the harm in having an optional field for it. Those who lik...

Thank you so much for your reply, dragonfly. The main reason why I've stopped taking my meds is (and I can't even tell my parents this, because I feel it's a very silly reason) because I'm in a Writer's Craft class, which requires me to write on demand a lot. The meds seem to hinder my creative abil...

What was it... Sunday night?... Everyone at my new job seems to hate me. That's what I think, anyway. I just don't seem to fit in. Nobody talks to me or jokes with me or even looks at me when I enter the lounge. I say hi to people and they just ignore me. Success in my job is measured by how many cr...

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. I suppose I have. It's scabbed. Good enough for me. what had happened just before? I left Writer's and dropped my stuff off at my locker. what were you thinking and feeling? I was determined to not eat. My spare was go...

Charlie: I don't want to go to your stupid party. Simple.

Dave: I hate you. I hate everyone else, too. But for some reason, I hate you the most, and I'm not sure why.

I'm so incredibly sorry. I knew I had pushed you too far. Now you, just like everyone else, will abandon me. I just had to go and do that. I couldn't just be a normal little girl. I had to fuck around and make you my emotional boyfriend without any physical benefits. I have a strange feeling I might...

That's a really good idea!

I hope it works out for you.

Corey - I did it again, I'm sorry. I can't bring myself to tell you that. Your graduation is more important than my problems. Dave - I'm so sorry about last night, about frightening you. You care about me so much, and I can't understand why. I connect with you like I've never connected with anyone e...

Writing is how I spend my days, nights, classes, homework time. Anything and everything. The only bad thing that's come out of it is: 1) I'm never really "all there" during lessons at school 2) My parents found something that I wrote about a year ago, and made me go into intensive therapy. But it re...

Dave - Thank you for today. I had a great time drinking coffee with you, discussing things face to face, and just hanging around in some bizarre places. I don't get out much. I think I'd like to, though.

Corey: I didn't mean to ask you that stupid question tonight. Your SI is about you, not about me; it was wrong for me to have made it seem like an attack on myself. I'm a little disappointed that you did it again, and that you didn't call me... but things like that happen. I also didn't mean to be h...

Dave: I've said it before and I'll say it again... I have faith in you. You're good at things. You're always so irrational. You should love yourself. I love you... as a good friend. I don't think SI is disgusting or low. I understand you need it. Mike: Your boyfriend isn't a jerk. I'm sorry I keep c...

Mike - I love you in a way I've never loved anyone else. I can't be your girlfriend, because I'm long-term taken. Please don't be sad because of what we aren't... be joyous because of what we are. And what we are is great friends, a support system that's infallable. *hugs* Dave - As you're "away" ri...

Thanks to all of you... it's hard, but I'm slowly trying to tell myself that it's ok to ask for help when needed... I asked my very good guy friend about this (leaving out details) and he said the same thing all of you did: Call him. And he reassured me that any time I felt like being an attention-s...

Yeah, it does help me. I find it helps a great deal during school to write about what I want to do to myself, how I'm feeling, how much I hate my math teacher. If I write it all down, I often go back and read it when I'm "safe" and have a good laugh over how irrational I really was, and how unwise i...