bus

I didn't sleep all morning.

A little overwhelmed.

Relaxed.

Because I didn't want to lose my time that I haven't si-ed.

I feel like everything is falling apart again...

I try because, somewhere a little piece of me must know that I deserve better than this.

I try because it broke my heart when my ex-girlfriend cried after she found out about the SI...I can never be the reason she cry's like that again.

I try because, my little sister needs me.

I wonder if one day they'll just stop worrying about me. I'm not worth it.

Mentally and physically exhausted.

Because I never want to be the reason my mom or my friends are crying again.

Content.

I want so desperatly to be mad at you, but the sad truth is, I can't be.

fucking Worthless.

A little uncomfortable.

Good job, I'm proud of you. Glad you found something to do that worked so well for you. I do a lot of writing when I'm really urgy.

Confused, jittery.

Why couldn't it be me?
Why couldn't it be us?

Why the fuck do you feel the need to lie to me? And you, yeah don't think you are going to be left out of this. Since what happened between us happened, I have been wanting to hear you say what you told me last week, but why did you have to do it when you are in a relationship. I would be with you i...

I love you to death you know that.
And as glad as I am that what happened between us happened.
Why tell me that you are sorry it never went anywhere.
Nine months later.
When you have you're girlfriend.
Why?

Because I never want to be the reason that she cries again.

Why did you feel the need to sugar coat things for me?
You may be six years older, but I am a big girl, and I can take care of myself.
I'm not broken, you can tell me things straight up.