bus

Seriously, this needs to be talked about. But I don't even have the figurative balls to say anything to your face about it. Do you love me because I'm me, or do you love me because of what I've been doing for you? Lately I feel like I'm just your fuck buddy and I'm just conviently there when you wan...

I really love you, and I don't want you to think that I just want you for all of the stuff that's been going on between us lately. I love you for you. I dread hanging up the phone on you. I just want you all the time, but I have to pretend that all of my emotions are in check, or else we'd be screwi...

I'm screaming for you to hold me. I'm absolutely DESPERATE. Just for you to touch me in a loving way. I can't take hugs anymore because I want more. Why can't you see?

*It's amaing how many times you can call me a bitch and think it bothers me. I know I'm a bitch. Definitely. But because I decided not to put up with you and your selfish, attention whoring problems, makes me a stronger person. I have a dying friend in the hospital and you're like, "LOOK AT ME! I'M ...

Because...
*It would hurt myself and I would regret it later
*I would break my boyfriend's heart. Again. And I'm sick of doing that.

I wish I still had a secret
I wish I didn't tell
I wish I wasn't so uncomfortable
I wish that nothing bad happens

I wish life was easier I wish the decisions I have to make had a black or white answer I wish I was older I wish I was wiser in the ways of the world I wish I didn't procrastinate so much I wish I didn't want to SI so much right now I wish my boyfriend was here I wish I was more comfortable with mys...

* * * * * * * * * * NO IRL (please guys) * * * * * * * * * * This entire situation is getting really bad really fast. I love you SO MUCH, you know that, I know that, practically the entire world knows just how much I love you. And I want to do more than "consider it". I just want to make sure that n...

Promise me we'll do something today. I need to be in your arms to feel safe again.
<center>:lpurpstar: </center>

*For one second, just one second, can you pretend I exist? The only thing you care about anymore are the other two. I know I'm the bitchy, bratty, annoying, obnoxious, rebellious, messed up child, but I WOULDN'T BE THIS MESSED UP IF YOU WOULD JUST PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT MY LIFE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND...

I can't even sleep anymore. I can't, it's almost impossible. I get too used to having you there holding me, and when I'm trying to go to sleep, I can't, because you're not there. I wish you could be there with me.

My boyfriend (I'll be posting a lot about him here): "Jennie, I'm sorry about how I've used my right as boyfriend to take advantage of you this week. I'll make it up to you, because I feel SO BAD. Tonight, okay?" Yeah, sure. He doesn't even REALIZE that he's been taking advantage of me. He's getting...

My boyfriend:

"I don't understand your SI, but I'm sorry for getting mad about it. Please just try to stop?"

And Dan:

"Yes, JENNIE, I believe in love, I just don't want to admit it because I'm afriad of putting my heart out on the line."

I.
AM.
A.
SELF-INJURER.

GET.
OVER.
IT.
OR.
LEAVE.

You aren't being the greatest person right now. I'm starting to see your flaws. Your one-sidedness, your narrow-mindedness, your need to protect me, and not let anyone else protect me. Baby, is that really fair? I know I'm your baby, and you protect me and shelter me and keep every bad thing that yo...

Tomorrow...I'm afraid. I love you. I'm afraid so much. I love you so much and I know you won't hurt me. I'm not afraid of you hurting me. I'm afraid of me hurting me.

I miss you. Come home?

I can hear you in a whisper, but you can't even hear ME screaming

Can you stop pushing me away just because YOU'RE stressed? Especially with the fact that you're stressed! It shows me that you need me even more! I try SO HARD to be there for you, and I don't think I've been getting the respect I deserve lately. I love you, baby! I just care about you and I'm just ...

I love you so much.
Thank you for being there last night.
I don't know what I would've done without you.