bus

1) my puppy... I can't live without him and wouldn't want to
2) My AA friends - I'd take everyone in AA with me! (is that allowed?)
3) my shrink
4) my non-AA friends
5) erg.... I dunno.... all of the above keep me up in this world.... maybe some wool and a crochet hook

chrystalxx

I think that I drink so that I CAN feel... not to feel numb. As a sober person (well until the last like few days) I would normally have a lot of problems feeling emotions unless I drank. And to escape from the rest of the world and concentrate on how crap I feel inside from all the things that have...

Of course I don't mind you popping in!!! nice to see you! hope that your work is going well. I am beginning to think - actually as a result of this topic - that a lot of my SI and alcoholism - though by far not all of it - is partly about control. However, I don't have non-self harming ways to feel ...

ME NEITHER!!!

today is the first time I've ever been here!

No, I don't have alcohol available. Liquor and wine are only available in separate liquor stores - you can just pop into Tesco and get it. I could cross the street and go to the liquor store but here in BC the liquor stores are owned and run by the government and the hours are kinda restricted and t...

Dear JoAnna,

I didn't see you post till right now!

Thank you for the list. It is very helpful. Now I have to work on being able to say it outloud without either bursting into fits of giggles or tears.

lots of love, chrystalxx

Do you think that your strong emotional reaction at the AA meeting (the uncontrollable crying) had anything to do with your slip? If realizing that you could be an alcoholic and feeling like a failure were factors in setting up the SI slip, do you think you can stay safe in the future if continuing...

You're doing very well talking about this openly. But now, since I'm at a loss about what to ask, I'm going to ask you Deb's questions. have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. yes what had happened just before? what were you thinking and feeling? why did you...

I was referring more to the last time that you cut than just in general, but I find that interesting that you used them to cope with different things. Surely either would have done for either situation? no, SI never helped me sleep or make me feel like I wasn't here in reality... sometimes it was a...

So did you have no alcohol when you cut? Or did you cut rather than drink? If the latter, why? When I first started to cut - yes I had no alcohol. But once I started to drink I think that they were unrelated. I think that I drank to escape and help me cope with my mothers drunken state and sleep but...

What do you think it was that made you turn to alcohol? Availability? Stories? Why alcohol, and not something else? My mother was an alcoholic. When I was 8 I used to drink a bit to stop her from drinking so much because I was so terrified that she'd smell it in the drains from pouring it out. When...

This is the first Non-Deb Topic here and after reading the guidelines I hope that I can do this right and not get kicked off because I do genuinely hope that I can get help and stop. Background: I have just stopped drinking alcohol. An addiction that I've had - sadly - since I was 9 years old - maki...

thank you deb...

I joined the usergroup but it says that only people with special access can post.

Is this a temporary stage or do I do something else?

Thanks
chrystalxx

get drunk and pass out

oh sweet elf, please don't put yourself through it... it is horrible... so horrible. You'd think that I would have learned after the first couple of times and quite frankly the only reason why I did it again was because I was so drunk and impaired. It is horrible. Even when you feel like you are puk...

I was sitting in an advanced applied geophysics class.... and I wanted to do ANYTHING soooooo badly.... I would have just left... but the class only has like 6 people in it... so it would have been too obvious.

Chrystalxx