bus

I just posted in the new thread, the one where you put stuff you wish others would tell you. So appropriate. Anyhow: bussers: I don't feel like I belong. parents: leave me alone! you've left me unarmed and defenselesss by not letting me b/p. I have to do this, I need something to replace the void yo...

what I wish everyone would say to me: M&D: "We're sorry for hurting you and neglecting you as a child. We left you to your own devices and you lost confidence and gained weight and an eating disorder. Maybe we don't understand bulimia or self-injury or depression, but you're not crazy." M: "I'm sorr...

greeeeeaaaat. i'm not attracted to sean, and jak has a love elsewhere. and as always, you are in love with libby. but today after school, standing behind you while you played the piano...and holding your hands..it felt so right. my hands just fit into yours. i'm sure hers fit even better. sigh.... i...

this is going to be a long rant. i'll preface it with saying that no one (except perhaps bethie) on BUS (unless i don't know you're here...) knows this person to whom i am writing this....though some of you may have heard me speak about him before. this person is not in mansfield and you don't know ...

why is everyone happy but me? oh i know! because i'm a selfish bitch!

...yknow how we arent supposed to post SU notes? well what if someone wants to say goodbye? do it by pm? just wondering.

god i want out. out out OUT DAMNIT

yep. i definitely...yep. wrote the name in my book in history. daydreamed through algebra. agh no. can't do this to myself. can't talk to him. he doesnt love me anyway..he says he does but come on now, lore. be SERIOUS. no one ever means it that way. he says the same things to k. ::sigh:: and even i...

...crazy....

you don't know how i feel. you say you love me, dear, but what do you mean? i'm so confused. like what you said today...it really touched me. but how did you mean it? oh, i know we're only good friends...but why must i be so miserable? and why must you be so far away? :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: t...

1: you don't love me. i wish you did, i care about you more than i should. i wish someone would care about me...i'll be single forever won't i?
2: please don't be so worried about me. i'm fine. well, i'm not. but i can say that, can't i?
3: I. AM. NOT. OKAY.

you don't understand, do you? i'm still invisible. i need help. i'm too afraid to ask for it. i can't even put my emotions into song anymore, never mind words. and i'm ignoring my chemistry homework because i can't be bothered. i'm just going to continue failing.

it's been so long since i could cry
so i sit alone and sigh
watching happy black-and-whiters
worship heroes, idols, fighters
while from the window turn away
for i've been living shades of grey


that's my little excerpt from my song...says how i feel

h - honey i love you more than there are words for, please come home soon... the way things are going i think i'll end up coming to you first... j - no. see, that's why we don't read this thread, it just gets people confused...not that i don't read it anyway...but no. z - hellooooo? brain = not work...

- looking at pictures on psyke made me want to cry. i curled up in a little ball and whimpered. i want to call you but i won't, i'm no solace to you that way. you get enough of it as it is. i'm not pretty, i'm not funny, i'm not thin, i'm not what you're looking for, but at least i'm not another pre...

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? :grnstar: well i don't feel like i need to hurt myself, i just feel that...feeling that i get when i usually cut. guilty, angry, sad. i just regret ruining heidi's party so so much... and i regret being here at all. Have I been...

* i am so sorry. crowding you like that. you didn't want me there, i know it. i made things worse, as usual. i didn't belong. i'm sorry. * i should have kept it in. it's my fault i'm fat, not yours, i shouldn't have complained. it triggered you...i ruined your birthday honey, i'm so sorry.. * i don'...

1. please stop, i love you, but i love 4 too. don't make me choose for you. but i'll still listen. 2. why do i suddenly miss you? 3. what happened...did he do something...oh no... 4. i love you but please, i have issues too... 5. god, let me lose weight, please.. 6. you stupid fuck, lore, you'll nev...

* i wish these wishes weren't all "i want love, i want to look good" but they are... * i wish i could make everony happy * i wish i was good enough * i wish to make it to my goal by the cruise * i wish to be understood * i wish to feel loved and accepted * i wish i had the willpower to succeed at so...

1 - i love you. why did i even say a thing... you dont care. you never post here, i bet you just lurk here to see what i post about you and my secrets. my lies, my life, my sorrows. you want to hear every fault of mine and throw them flaming in my face, as you know you're infinitely better than me. ...

1 - please stop with this. i have taken the wrong road. you're better how you are, stop complaining. you'd cry too if you looked like me. be worthy of what you have. but i still love you and i guess i don't blame you. 2- you rock, but you being here makes things hard. i'm sorry. 3- can't you see tha...

parents - i self injure. i cut myself. on purpose. no, i don't do it to "be cool" or keep up with a trend or because my friends do. sure, some of my friends self-injure, but i didnt start because of them and i don't continue to for them either. they have prevented my suicide many times. that's right...