bus

I wish I were beautiful
I wish I were talented
I wish I were lucky
I wish I were loved
I wish I could love myself
I wish I were thin
I wish I were capable
I wish I didn't feel so weak.

To Aimee: I really miss you. Sorry I fucked up our friendship. Maybe we can repair things someday. I would really like that.

Mom: There are things you don't understand. Please stop complaining so much.

Nick: I wish we could be better friends.

I'm breaking. Breaking hard. I want to cry real tears.

I wish I felt loved
I wish I could be understood
I wish my friends hadn't drifted away
I wish I could be thin
I wish I could be happy
I wish I weren't so messed up.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: for all the tears I can't cry in real life. For all the su feelings swirling in my head For all the hopelessness I feel :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ...

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: for all the tears I can't cry in real life. For all the su feelings swirling in my head For all the hopelessness I feel :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ...

It's weird that despite reading all the posts on BUS, I still thought I was the only one being afraid of closing my eyes when I go to sleep. I try to focus on something like a spot on the wall, really studying it, until I get so tired that I can't keep my eyes open. I usually have to occupy my mind...

I am exactly the same way. It disturbs me greatly. Sometimes I can't even sleep because I know that as soon as I close my eyes, I'm going to see myself getting hurt again. So a lot of times I can't sleep until I'm so tired I'm about to drop because if my mind starts to relax...BAM....it's not going ...

To those who belittle me: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Ven...