bus

I don't want to get better yet.
I don't want you to try and get close to me.
I want to be left alone.

I'd rather let this kill me than give in, and fail.

Fat failure.

I feel nervous.
And it's because my friends are coming around. And for some reason, I'm very uncomfortable with the idea.

I love you to pieces, you know that right? I know I never say it, but frig I do. I really do. But you know sometimes it really annoys me how you refuse to see things through my eyes. How you assume it's my own entire fault and that I shouldn't complain about some things - for example how cold I felt...

I feel really rejected and worthless.
Even though no body rejected me. They just criticised me, and I even asked for them to do it. But it hurt. More than I realised it would.

I promised my best friend that if he told me what had been annoying him about me today I wouldn't self harm over it.
Now I'm home and wanting to self harm because I now feel worthless.