bus

I realize the part that I have been playing in this craziness. I can't blame anyone else for my inner turmoil. I can't even say that you've been fucking with my head, because I let it happen. I held on to this ridiculous hope that's done nothing but cause me hurt in the long run. And I can't keep do...

I think we could be so happy together.
I really want you to move back out here and be with me.

All that I told you last night, I fully meant. I don't really regret it and I would do it again

I hate that I have to come to terms with you wanting to spend your life with someone else. I thought I gave up on the idea of us when you moved away . . . but I've been holding holding on to this hope in the back of my mind and off in a little corner of my heart. Now, I guess I have to let it go. I ...

I love you more than I will ever be able to tell you.

Do you know what you're like? What she has turned you into? A stray mutt that's so pathetically happy with any scrap of love and/or affection that she deigns to give you. And it makes me sad that you are so willing to accept a lifetime of this. Because you are not a dog. You are so amazing adn you d...

I can't believe that you are so ready to accept this. You really want her? That's all you think you deserve? Fine. It's your loss. I can't keep hoping that one day you'll realize what you deserve and what you could have. That's not helping me any. So, good luck.

I can't believe it. Why don't you see? She hurt you again, she does that more and more often. And it's me you come to for comfort. I was there for you early this AM as you were crying over this latest hurt she caused. I was there for you, just as I always am, not matter the time or place. How many t...

I love you. And how I wish I could say that to you. How it hurts to listen to how wonderful she is and how happy you are with her. To hear you describe her perfection and the changes you're making in your life for her. To know about the way you make love to her and to have to just smile and tell you...

I sometimes think that I'm not even worth falling in love with nd that it will never happen for me.

I don't want to do this anymore.

*Triggers- LANG, Sexual dialogue* > > > > > > You know what I want to know? Why do you turn to me when you do? You tell me how lucky you are to have her, how perfect her body is, what a goddess she is. . . so why is it that after you go down on her and she passes out your first thought is to text me...

Sometimes, I just really hope things end badly for you . . . because you've acted so stupidly.

If your girlfriend is so amazing why is it ME that you text in the early morning hours? Why is it ME you turn to when you're having a problem? You're my friend, and I love you more than you will ever know. . . so why is it that SHE gets the best of you and I am left to tend your bruised and wounded ...

When you moved away years ago, I thought that was it. Then you found me online and opened yourself up to me. But you're thousands of miles away now. You tell me so often how happy you are with her. And I'm happy for you. But I'm broken inside, too because I'm realizing how deeply I'm falling for you...

Why don't you just be honest with me? I know it's scary, I'm scared, too. Believe me, I'm the master of building walls, but you're missing out on something really amazing with me.

Standing there with you the other night . . . was amazing. I love that you're so willing to reveal yourself to me. I can see that you're scared by it. I am, too. There's something there. I wish I could tell you.

I lied. I do love you.

*LA*
i am...
A wonderful person

i am not...
a bitch, terrifying, or unloving

i feel...
invisible

i want...
to really be seen for who I am

i need...
to pray more

i have...
some wonderful friends who love me

i love...
My family, spiritual and literal

i hate...
when people LIE!!

Look at me. That's what I want. I want you to look at me, and see me. Why is that so hard?